someone said i was “beautiful” yesterday at the show.
totally shocked me,
but it was the universe doing.
or whatever you believe in or don’t.
i was just discussing with the pretty vixen about it 2 hours early,
during intermission between mariah to lionel.
she said to me…
“you need to be up in someone dms.”
“yeah i do.
i’m ready again.”
i’ve been wanting to talk to a new wolf.
on i’m attracted to on all levels.
i’m ready to date again.
get fucked stupid again and again.
i have been the happiest and freest i’ve ever been.
i let go of so much that has held me back.
i’m on this new emancipated path of learning to see myself differently.
“i’ve always felt invisible tho.
like no one looks at me.”
“that is sad.
a sad way to live.”
i blame myself tho.
i should have got a handle on that early.
my insecurities took over and put me in a cage.
i been walking around like i’m some wack bitch.
no one has ever told me i was ugly.
i’ve been called a lot of things but ugly.
i tell myself i am ugly.
i see my flaws,
while everyone else sees the beauty within me.
i can tell when a vixen is attracted to me.
hair twirling around fingers
smiling extra hard
coming around a lot and wanting to me in my zone
i don’t want a vixen tho.
i want a wolf.
as cowardly as fucking some vixen is to “pass the time”,
i’m saving all this pent up sex for the next wolf to cum in…
so back to yesterday…
we walking out the arena when the show is done,
this snow wolf turns around and looks at the pretty vixen and i.
“you two are the most beautiful people i have ever seen.”
like i said it shocked tf me.
he was with a snow bunny,
but i couldn’t tell if he was with her.
he was also faded af too.
the pretty vixen is used to it.
she was smiling,
said her thanks,
but clearly wasn’t interested.
that really made my day.”
he turned around and looked at me with the craziest face.
“you don’t hear that a lot?”
“well you should.
you are one of the hottest guys in this room.”
i didn’t want to believe it.
i made every excuse in my head to not believe it.
that’s how my insecurities are set up,
but i’m tired of creating levels for negative thinking.
so i gave up and let that appreciation take over me.
“see…” the pretty vixen said as we walked out.
well played universe.