Posted in A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI, LIVIN' THIS LIFE WE LIVE

nothing burns like the cold

   Published Date: September 16, 2018  4 Comments on nothing burns like the cold

antarctica.
one of the coldest places on earth.
the lowest temperature recorded was -133.6 degrees.
you couldn’t survive in that weather with 1,000 northface coats.
ironically,
one of the coldest temperatures you could feel is being on the outside.
that place where you want to feel included with your peers,
but you feel like you don’t receive the same love that others get.
that place can feel colder than ice.

i was watching i was watching issa rae’s stories today…

she had her annual #yachtshit party over the weekend.
the invites were everything from friends,
cast members,
sexy wolves,
and even a few a/b list celebs.

um the males on that boat>>>>
as i watched,
i felt sort of “less than” in my own forest.
they all looked so happy as they danced and had fun.
it’s like they are part of a tribe.
a tribe that i wished that i could belong in.
i’ve never had that.
now don’t get me wrong,
but i’m happy for all that issa has accomplished.
she deserves this.
i can see how social media can make you feel out in the cold tho.
if we aren’t living that life,
one of consistent highlight reels,
we are basically nothing.
you can accomplish little wins in your own lives,
but it doesn’t matter if you feel out in the cold.

i’ve always felt sort of out in cold tbh.
jamari fox has never really “fit in” anywhere.
the times i did were all horrible.
i’m the one who usually meets that amazing person.
we get to know each other and have fun as a two-some.
when they introduce me to their tribe,
i’m usually welcomed,
but i can clearly feel that i don’t fit in that circle.

Maybe I’m the “solo act” with cool supporting characters?

is that the truth i can’t accept?
i keep a small circle of friends who all don’t know each other.
not only that,
i know a ton of vixens.
i don’t know any males like i did with star fox.
no one has come close to being him.

this is the flip side to social media.
it’s like one big ass high school.
it’s the only place where the popular kids,
jocks aka baller wolves,
creatives,
gays,
and the government intermingle.
if you are talented,
but feel like no one gives af about you,
it can feel like a slow death.
you just want to feel appreciated and welcomed with open arms.
get invites and just feel apart of something.
is that wrong?
for something that provides us with likes from strangers,
and even an abundance of comments to gas you up…

Why can it make us feel so isolated and alone?

the real question is:

How do we stop?

4 thoughts on “nothing burns like the cold”

  1. I feel you with this post and I thick you have the right idea about being a solo act with supporting characters. I go on ig and look at people with their tribes living it up, before it would sometimes get to me but I’ve been taking a different approach this year and trying to enjoy life for myself more. This year I’ve done more traveling than I’ve ever done in my whole life, now while I went with a group of coworkers who became friends on one of those trips and my with sister on the other I’ve planned a solo trip to San Francisco next month. I excited to see what traveling alone will be like. I’ve been trying to do my things solo in the past few months because sometimes its not east to have someone come along with you to things and I’m trying to be more comfortable with doing things alo

    There is this thinking that we have to be apart of a group to enjoy something and that’s not true If I see a restaurant or and event and I want to go to it I’m starting to get into the mindset I’ma go with or without someone else. Being solo can be rewarding all you have to worry about is yourself trust.

    1. ^loveeee this mikey.
      i’ve started doing movies alone,
      but i’m gonna start trying other things.
      traveling alone will be when i pass tier 3 foxhole status.

  2. Jamari this post is my life at the moment! So much so i have been spurred to leave my first comment! Long time lurker! (Almost 9 years!) You are amazing and so is your blog. Low-key i feel we could be besties 🤗🤣. Coming to this site and seeing your personality shine thru authentically with hot topics and interesting debates has been a welcome habbit in my life. Hope to meet you one day. Curious to see what you look like. Love the intrigue. Ill make it a new habbbit to comment again! Love the community youve garnered.

    1. ^thank you george!
      and thank you for staying with me for 9 years now!
      that’s along the time when i started so you’re a veteran in the foxhole!
      i’m so grateful for you and the foxhole continues to grow and shine.
      it’s a blessing and i’m very humbled by it.

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