…the best “no fucks”,
that is.
i’m starting to think “marriage” is a waste of time.
folks go up to an altar,
take vows,
and ride off into the sunset to carry on affairs.
they paid all that money on a wedding to act like they’re still single.
confused.
my home vixen,
karaoke,
recently learned that with one of her coworkers…
so there is this wolf that works directly with karaoke at her job.
he is good looking,
likes to flirt with her,
and very married.
i like to ask questions to see how far those around me would go.
we had a conversation a few days prior about it and i asked:
“so you’re not interested?”
“i think he is hot,
but that wolf is very married.
i’m not going to be my co worker’s mistress.”
i believed her.
she is not that type of vixen.
i know others who would jump on some married pipe tho.
the way my “inner slut bag ratchet ho” use to be set up…
…well,
it’s still kinda set up that way,
but this conversation isn’t about me.
so karoake hit me up last night and her opening text was:
“i don’t want to talk to this wolf anymore.”
“what happened?”
“he kissed me.”
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
she goes to to tell me how she had to work overtime last night.
it was just the two of them in the office.
he was doing his usual flirting,
but when he leaned in to look at her computer screen,
he went ahead kissed her without her permission.
he said:
“i been wanting to do that.
this means we are dating now!”
she told him she didn’t appreciate what he did,
but he was taking it as a joke.
when he was leaving,
he addressed her as his “girl” and asked for her another kiss.
“i’m not your girl and no thanks.”
apparently he was “little going on big” mad.
um,
dude,
you are MARRIED.
karaoke doesn’t feel any kind of way about his attitude.
again: she is not that kind of girl.
i have dealt with a few married wolves before.
it was wrong,
but i don’t turn down a good flirting session.
you would be lying if you said you didn’t either.
many of “us” feel like if a wolf/hybrid/fox is married,
that ring and those vows mean nothing.
sex is sex.
males want sex.
married or single.
obviously if he is sniffing around our parts,
it’s just for a quick fling.
does it make it it right?
i had to wonder…
Do we really respect “marriage” in these forests?
i know so many married males with:
secret social media accounts
fuckin their co workers
got at least two hoes on the side
in this life,
there are so many males who are married to vixens for bearding purposes.
many are told by their own wives they can cheat,
but just don’t bring anything home.
are the rules with vixens different than with males?
i know since “we” could get married,
i bet those stories are even more poppin’.
married,
but always front and center at every dl sex party.
hubby not included.
for the wolf in karaoke’s situation,
would we have really said “no”?
or would he be another trophy to show off?
when it comes to marriage and this “no fucks/no labels/no rules” generation…
I respect the ring. As a discrete wolf that might be surprising but I do. I refuse to be a extra in that D.L book. I do not respect that . If you can lie before God and try to lay with me you crazy. What will you get from a married man? Other than wasted time and a nut. Also,It just seem dangerous. Can you be made at what the partner will do when they find out? Nah I don’t need that.
Marriage should be respected, whether the relationship is experiencing problems or the person you are involved with wants the relationship to end. This is not just about gay men who sleep with men who are in relationships with women because the straights do it to. When people boast about the benefits of dating married men, it is always about the gifts, money, good sex, and the thrill of being the side piece. There are single men who can give you the same perks the married ones do. The bottom line is, you cannot find true happiness sleeping in the arms of another person’s husband. It does not work that way.
Seems like I’m late to the conversation. When I was like 22 or 23 I used to not care if a man was married or not. At 27, I am not in a relationship, but I’m speaking to a guy that I messed around with for years and now he wants to make it official. I couldn’t do what I used to do. I’m not that same person. I still have my doubts on men and relationships in general so I’m cautious to move forward with this guy but I give him credit for always being around for years in one form or another. I think marriage is a beautiful concept and for those to adhere to the parameters set up by marriage, it is beautiful. I cannot knowingly sleep with a married man because Of my three rules for being with me:
1. Love me completely in every way.
2. Do not cheat on me.
3. Do not put your hands on me.
Break any of the aformentioned and I’m done. I will forgive, but no second chances to be given. No one here would want thier significant other to cheat on them, so why do it to someone else? I’ve observed my friends, relatives, and coworkers in relationship and it always seems like a farce. You can’t love someone and have sex with someone else. You invite hurt and distrust into the relationship. I cannot be the cause of pain to another human being. There are always going to be temptations, but if I was offered, I would remind him of the path that he CHOSE, and wish him peace. I have too much to answer for as it is, don’t want to be the cause of a breakup.
My dad had me and my sister with his second wife who is my mom. He was cheating with the same church deacon he cheated on with his first wife who was also married. After my parents divorced, my dad used to take us over the woman’s house, not knowing who she was to my father and the reason why my parents broke up in the first place. That’s why I have such strong views on cheating.
Fashionandsvedka we are similar in a few ways – my list is exactly like yours I only had three conditions with no wiggle room, and I could forgive but not continue if these things were broken. Along with number one – I added to it – no disrespect on either side, especially if we were of different races – that was also a deal breaker for me.
But I watched my mother cheat on my dad numerous times during the course of their marriage. I find cheating despicable and I’ve been cheated on in all three of the relationships that I’ve had. Currently single, I would embrace a relationship if it happened tomorrow – but I have to disagree with a gentleman, Randall, who commented earlier about “theres nothing worse than being single and lonely” – Honestly the single part is a time to do a lot of self-work and self-reflection. Its a golden opportunity for one to decide what they truly want, show themselves approved, and worthy they deserve the relationship they want. So I believe you can be single and HAPPY.
In the meantime, you navigate life just as content and focused as if the person you want could drop into your life at any moment.
Your friend better not fall for it though. If she messes with that man or even entertains him, she’ll be the hoe of the workplace and I guarantee she’ll be fucked over in the end. Messing with a married man is one thing, but a married man that can possibly fuck up your money and professional reputation? Run.
^after that kiss,
she said she was over it.
he crossed a line.
she told me today she isn’t sweating it,
but she will shoot down all future shots.
Exactly, it will turn into a power struggle and she will be on the negative end of it.
Eh, messing with marriages always comes back on you in the end. I know from experience, you’ll end up on the other end being the one that’s oblivious to the fact you’re being played and then what can you say?
A gay married man I worked with propositioned me recently. Apparently he’s a bottom that married another bottom and they want to take turns on me. I declined and told him I was “delivert”.
I really do think some people get married for the ceremony and just to say they did, especially gay men being that they aren’t used to it.
^jay turned down a 3some?
two willing to give up the 🎂?
im impressed!
Told you I’m done.
Helps I wasn’t attracted to either one though. lol
^ 😂
glad to see you sticking to your decision.
Married men are the best bottoms. The 3 I’ve had over the years cements that belief. I’ve often asked them probing questions trying to solicit some moral authority from within but often there is none to be found. They simply want sex and will compartmentalize any existence of an significant other while the object of their desire is being pursued. I’m done with trying to overthink it. Nor will I stand on some soapbox spewing out self righteous judgment of these men. If they are phine and they come lurking around me then they’re getting f*cked. And f*cked hard. It’s not my fault your man is out on the prowl. If I don’t bust down those cakes, someone else will.
lmao lol…lol..
#Truth
So I wasn’t going to write anything, because as usual the foxhole comments are on fire right now lol. You guys leave really great comments and Jamari brings it with the topics. I’m going to be honest and say right now if a married man was interested in me, I might take the offer. Now as I stated before I’m a discrete fox, I do love masculine men and I’m not going to apologize about that. I don’t go to gay clubs or gay events since I’m not out so my chance of meeting a masculine gay man is rare. The only places I can meet a man is work, gym, straight clubs, or group outing with friends and that’s hard enough to meet a man doing those things. The only place I can really meet men is at the gym. I have met 5 married wolves in the gym that walked up to me and spit game at me. They were all fine, between the age of 25 to 35 and all had amazing bodies. I was flattered and very turned on by them, but there was something so funny about all five of them they all told me they had a wife right within a few minutes of our conversation. I didn’t get involved with them because like others said karma is a bitch. The thing is men have always cheated. Back then women rarely left their husbands. Some women left but most stayed because they had no where to go and depended on their husbands financially. Now, women are independent with good jobs and for some of those women if their husbands stared cheating and acting crazy they leave. A lot of people don’t respect marriage anymore hince the term side chick being glamorized. I can see why people want to get married, if I was straight I would probably be married now with a kid or 2. In my 27 years of living being lonely and doing everything on my own is starting to take a toll on me. So, it might seemed like I’m going backwards but yes right now I would hook up with a married wolf. The single life sucks for me.
^listen,
its okay to be honest in here.
i’m not judgment.
i’d rather hear this than the ones who will play “saint screen name”,
but secretly mess around with married males on the low.
no patience for liars and fronters.
from what i see,
we all won’t judge in the foxhole.
Hey Jamari & all. I guess I’m the only one who cant relate? I’m in my mid/late twenties (27) and have been in a serious relationship with another man for almost 3 years (he’s the same age). We’re happy together. We never had a wedding or anything like that but we did get our marriage license a couple of months ago. (and No, I aint never having children, LOL. Hell nah.)
I might sound naive for this knowing how most gay men are but I don’t think we’d ever cheat on each other… It’s just a good situation and we’re both comfortable in it. I’m a relationship oriented person and I think my man is too, so we value what we’ve built together. I think it has a lot to do with us living in a not-so-major city (we’re in Michigan) too, not like LA or New York or Atlanta, and being guys with regular ass lives… we’re not creative types or artists or very exciting people at all, so it comes with a more “humbling” (lets say that) lifestyle (lol).
My man says he got the hoe-ing out of his system in college. I never went to college so that’s that lol. I’m glad to say I’ve never been with a married person, thank God. But don’t think they haven’t tried smh. Some gay men will come up right to you in the club not even trying to hide the ring on their finger. It’s disgusting to me, and I’m not even a marriage-fanatic type. I just think relationships are important, and if you are careless with that then what can you be trusted with? (I can get on my soapbox sometimes, sorry, ha ha)
That being said, I thank GOD every day that I’m spoken for because let me tell you man, there’s nothing more miserable than me being single and lonely. I’m glad to be spoken for and that’s the truth!!! I hated every second of being single. Every time I have a disagreement with my man I remember how down in the pits single life gets me then I’m ready to end the disagreement right then and there. I just wasn’t made for it.
It’s interesting to me that so many of y’all like being single more than in a relationship. I wonder why that is. Do you enjoy the sexual freedom?? Like, not being tied down? Not having to answer to anybody? Or is it something else?? I notice that with a lot of gay men. In my group of gay friends I’m the exception (not counting the lesbians, you know that joke… they bring the U Haul to the 2nd date, Lol).
Personally I love coming home to somebody waiting for me or vice versa. I love talking to my husband about my day at the dinner table every day. I love the routine. I love that there is someone out there I can depend on for anything and they will follow through. I love that there’s someone out there that’s for me and me only, and that I’m their only. But, for a lot of people, they hate the 9 to 5 and the routine, so I guess after all this rambling I actually get y’all point lol.
Again, sorry for the ramble!!
Also I just want to add… If you’re single and feeling down in the dumps, don’t give up!! Remember there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. There’s someone for everyone. It’s also about making the best of situations sometimes. Cliche, but true.
^thank you for this comment randall!
i love all that you said.
i would LOVE to be in a relationship,
but the way a majority of these wolves are set up.
i dream of meeting someone like how you did.
that would be perfect,
but that is also the luck of the draw.
it’s almost as hard as winning the lottery.
i pray for you both endless successful in your relationship!
its good to hear stories like this as well!
gives us all hope!
LMAO…Am I crazy for NOT wanting to be in a relationship?!
If I get horny, I know people I can call or my right hand will do! But I don’t like answering to people when it comes to my personal life. It’s like where are you going? What are you doing? Etc. If I want to get up and go…I do. If the person I’m with can’t understand that, then you go your way and I’ll go mine. I was in a long-term relationship, with a woman, and her friends meddled in our relationship so badly because THEIR men were unfaithful dogs…so they convinced her I was the same way. Her loss.
But we get along better now that we’re no longer together.
I’m like you Randall, you’re not alone. Well, I don’t care much for the routine bit, but I’m relationship oriented as well.
Now this pineapple would have been mad if Karaoke went to HR and filed a complaint on his ass, he would have been saying he was just playing and she was trying to keep the Black man down. If I was her, I would steer clear of this pineapple because he probably has a bruised ego and will try to throw her under the bus the first chance he gets. So many Str8 pineapples are use to getting whatever they want real easy due to the shortage of men out here, they are taken aback when a female actually says no, I think that goes for married or single dudes.
As someone who has messed around with many married men, at this point in my life I would tell you if you are looking for a real relationship dont waste your time. With me I was looking for sexual gratification just being young and hoeish at the time, I didnt want no relationship. If you can separate the two then do what you will. I have come to realize that grown sexually active people dont care about commitments, relationships, vows etc so I am not going to waste my breath especially when it concerns male on male contact. I can not say I will not kick it with a married dude again, however I would not willingly do it if I knew he was married. Married DL dudes are crazy AF so beware their whole logic is twisted and dont make any sense to anybody but them. They love playing games with your emotions and feelings, so you just have to treat them like you have no feelings for them. Ironically my nonchalant attitude about them keeps them forever blowing me up trying to hook up-LOL
@Tajan…nah, he would’ve said she came on to him! He was probably stunned that she said no to him, and by doing that…he set out to “conquer” that challenge. She bruised his “EGO” and now he has a point to prove. If he continues, I hope she has the sense to record his ass, or find a way to prove the harassment is happening. If not, she will be made to look like the bad one in this situation..not him. Sadly, I’ve seen it happen too often.
^”Married DL dudes are crazy AF so beware their whole logic is twisted and dont make any sense to anybody but them. They love playing games with your emotions and feelings, so you just have to treat them like you have no feelings for them”
^hell,
even the ones in relationships that cheat!
Society is caught up in appearances. People are too “old school” with their thoughts of you have to be married, have kids, etc. It’s a bit refreshing to see more and more people rebelling against that train of thought. You have people living single, co-habitating instead of getting married, having kids out of wedlock, etc…and they don’t give two fucks. My female co-workers (office full of women – three males) get mad when they ask me why I’m not married. I tell them I’m not going to get married to make someone else happy, because if you do that you’re setting that marriage up for failure. If I’m not happy, my partner isn’t going to be happy, because I will be resenting her. I don’t have kids because I’m selfish to a degree. I have plenty of nieces and nephews who can come spend time with Unc, and I love them all, but I can give them back to their parents when I’m ready! If I could take pics of their faces I would. Marriage and children are used for bragging rights nowadays. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone. I learned a long time ago to stop being concerned with appearances because people are going to talk anyway. I’m fine with my life the way it is. THEY are the ones that are not happy in spite of portraying a happy image.
I see way too many marriages falling apart. People get married and/or have kids for the wrong reasons…they’re pressured. Big mistake. My parent’s marriage was the same way. My mom got pregnant with me, and my dad couldn’t take it anymore. They divorced and he went on to marry another woman. Was unhappy in that marriage as well. I know of two of my co-workers whose marriage is in trouble. Both husbands have cheated, and they’re separated right now. Again, kids are involved in the scenario. We’re not supposed to know, but I would ask them if I could, was it because you were pregnant that you got married? If so, big mistake. That happened to two of my brothers. They got their girlfriends at the time pregnant, and ended up marrying them. My oldest brother, he acted like he didn’t have a ring on his finger and continued being a hoe. My other brother, he remains faithful, and they seem happy (although they do have their moments)…but he got married for the wrong reason.
The first guy to ever hit on me was this good-looking bus driver. He was mixed, black/Chinese. His dad was a military man. Dude was nice and charming, and flirted heavy. I never noticed his ring until one day the sun was shining like extra bright and I saw a flash. I looked and sure enough there was a ring on his finger. I asked if he was married, he said yes, and I deaded everything. I said we can be cool…but nothing is gonna happen. I don’t KNOWINGLY do the “other man” type thing. If I find out, I’m done. No apologizing in the world will make me continue in a situation like that because if they do it once, they will do it again….and I’m not stroking anyone’s ego to make themselves feel bigger. It was funny because the demeanor turned cold once I said nothing was going to happen. I recently ran into him again towards the end of summer. He looked good, with a bit of salt and pepper now (kids and wife stress he said), but they were separated. He actually said to me that he understood why I said no. Turns out he started messing with someone else, and trying to juggle the two relationships had stressed him out. His wife caught on that he was having an affair (she didn’t know it was a dude though) and she left him for a while. He realized that it wasn’t worth it and he ended things, and wifey came back, but the dude was blackmailing him telling him he had a tape of them having sex and recorded phone calls. He finally had to come clean, and the wife stayed with him for a bit. He said he learned his lesson (which I kinda believe because he was one of those corny type cuties) and doesn’t mess around. I said what happens if someone hits on you. He said “I’m gonna keep it moving..I had my fill of cray-cray”
^i love this c!
it’s amazing how many of us know the married ones all too well.
like many,
they are easier to deal with,
but a hassle in the long run.
J, dudes that are married and/or in relationships are a hassle. They try to be in control because they can’t handle it any other way. Some of them, their feelings are genuine, but with others, it’s all a game to them. Conquer and try to control.
^boy,
do i know that too well.
Marriage for a lot of people has more or less become a status symbol, like getting an iPhone. Good and fun for the first couple of months/years until you hear about the next edition coming out. Now your current one is bland, slow, and unattractive. Its a side effect of our instant gratification culture. Granted, cheating isnt anything new. Its been around since(and before) the Bible when Eve was getting sweet nothings whispered in her ear behind Adam’s back. Now people are bold enough to document it and say I hit it first.
^the crazy part is they leave you for the newer model and come crawling back.
people are weird lol
A lot of men don’t like being vulnerable. Usually there’s one person who has them open and vulnerable as fuck. Insecure men will leave the one who has their heart because they don’t want to be hurt. They may choose the next best thing because it’s safer for them even though they long for their true lI’ve and I’d they have their cake and eat it to..
Trey songz said something in your post yesterday. He gets with different women and he cheats because women allow him too. I think men cheat because some are allowed to. And the side piece accepts their role as the side price and not the main course
^”A lot of men don’t like being vulnerable. Usually there’s one person who has them open and vulnerable as fuck. Insecure men will leave the one who has their heart because they don’t want to be hurt. They may choose the next best thing because it’s safer for them even though they long for their true lI’ve and I’d they have their cake and eat it to.”
^there it is.
the “aha” moment.
It’s easy to walk away or cheat on someone if their heart isn’t attached to someone. Knowing they can have access to love of their life but not be totally open its safer. Men who are hurt really go through it …nothing in a man’s life seems to go right when they have been damaged by love. To prevent it they become fuck boys and instagram models
To SOME the ring and the vows still mean something and matter thesec days. It seems like ppl do it because the other person wanted to but, there is no love, loyalty, or faithfulness. I used to only sleep with married men because I knew there was no possibility for a relationship and trust me, there was never a shortage of them
^i love this!
it’s so easy to meet a married wolf.
I find it’s easier to find them,
and one im attracted to,
than a gay one.
is that wrong to font that out loud?
Not at all!! Like I said, married was my preference at one point. I could tell you many stories about the wives calling, texting, or emailing me asking who I am and all that. For me, married men were much easier to deal with
I could not sleep with a married man. My ex got married to a woman and he still tries to ask me for sex. I always ask him why did he get married if he still wants me. He says “because he’s in in love with her.” It seems like no one takes love or marriage serious anymore. Sometimes I feel like the odd man out when I have this discussion with my friends because they are all quick to say “yes I will sleep with a married man.” I would feel bad if I did. Plus karma is a bitch.
^is it really love tho????
do you think he loves you?
or does he love your sex?
^i find wolves who chose the vixen over you regret it sooner or later.
As a married gay man who doesn’t cheat I’ll be the first to say I’m miserable as fuck !!!
Especially at the gym guys and girls look but I just think to myself it’s not worth the grief of getting caught because I’m super lazy and wouldn’t want the lies to snowball
Its a trade off I guess I’ve convinced myself into think the deal is I can say whatever I feel In the relationship but I don’t cheat it’s dumb as fuck I know but it’s not my case it’s cheaper to keep him
I’ll admit I’m in LA and I’ve had a point in the relationship it went all the way south and I ended up fucking a I guess celebrity if you say so
He’s been featured on this blog but I got caught and it was a mess but eventually we made up
But it’s funny me cheating makes me know that he knows I can go out and get someone better in a second so act right and do right by me or you’ll just be an afterthought in a couple of hours …and we’ve been together for going on 7 years lol
Marriage… it sucks for everyone lol
^this is so deep and real james!!!!
thank you for sharing!
do you think once you got married that the dynamic changed?
Definitely I was initially treated as a aww my baby type of guy then as time went on I became the Im sick of your bullshit guy
Me I was trying to keep the relationship on the up and up trying to keep the sex life going and still trying to keep it like it first was but I had no reciprocation
So eventually I asked why even bother
I feel like as the alpha in the dynamic I was to lead but eventually I became to lenient and allowed my partner to do whatever he wanted thinking he was free range he I feel that he took advantage of that freedom
Him trying to become the alpha in the relationship just made it go south
That and plus I didn’t know myself 100% nor did I act on the signs he was showing me
So my ignorance and his got us into this situation
Now I’m miserable but with that the upside is I can focus on business that’s what really matters to me right now
I have no interest in relationships unless it’s about money from time to time a platonic friendship is nice but
Just money it’s easy to understand and calculate
Man….I’m not married but in live in relationship for 4 years and I was much happier single. All I think about is that why did I get married movie. The reality is the issue isn’t marriage itself…it’s are you with the right person. Moat marriages and relationships last do so because the love people have for each other outweighs the issues. I do believe in soul mates…these relationships last but a lot of times we dot realize who our soul mate or haven’t met them. We settle too soon .
Also you have love someone else enough to work it out. I know couples who go through ups and downs but the love and the commitment is so strong they with through things and forgive ….ALOT
^the comments with the ones in relationships/married have me so open.
i have so much questions lol
i appreciate everyone being so open.
I met my soul mate but he passed away.
Hell tell more a bout the “celebrity” how does he looks? How big is the dick? Hows the stroke game? lmfao. I’ze wants to know.lol
I recently dealt with one… I asked him why is he married and his response was “Because I have to be.”
I can’t go along with that. It’s hard enough dating single men.
^i feel this is about to be a lit discussion today.
so he basically is using her a beard?
They were friends, started dating and she ended up pregnant. I think that is the only reason they’re married today. Either way, I don’t wanna be around when the truth comes out, nor do I want that karma
^and see that’s what im usually thinking about with the married ones.
karma and the damage it will do to me for my wrong doing lol
I’m going to have to go with a no as well. I used to work in customs and immigration at the airport and I was surrounded by nothing but officer wolves who would flirt and fuck all the younger pretty girls working there. Most of them were married and gave no fucks. I know one who I was shocked to find out he was doing it because everything about his wife and him seemed so perfect ( at least to the outside world)
Most married wolves want the best of both worlds, they want to have their fun on the side and still go home and play hubby/daddy.
^a damn shame.
they definitely want the best of both.
why not just be single?
or is it safe to have a wife to come home too?
BINGO! It’s safe. Well at least that’s my opinion. Safe from societal pressures, safe from lonliness, safe from being an outsider etc. It’s also greed and selfishness too.
People have hive minds. So, the majority of people will always go with the status quo, even at their own detriment. It would be so much easier to be single, but when you around other married people, you want to parade that mantle as well, even if its a charade!
Jamari, that ring on the finger means nothing these days. 2 weeks ago, a fine as fuck white dude who’s 48 but if you saw him, you would assume 30. Nice muscular and toned, and gave me signs of interest. Now as soon as I saw the metal ring on the finger and I ask if he was married. He suddenly hid his left hands from behind. Yes we did somethings and he was good as well as that body. These married guy do not keep there commitment from the altar.
^i appreciate your honesty that you messed with him.
i can’t say i wouldn’t have rode him either.
marriage seems like “the thing we are supposed to do” which fucks people up.
Also those white dudes love the melanin, for real!