happy birthday to me

oh hi.
it’s my birthday.
in barbados,
being born on the 5th means nothing.
when i came to america,
it’s a big ass deal.
i usually like to say that the fireworks are for me.
this past year was one for the record books tbh.
i don’t know how to describe it…

“Expect the unexpected?”

i spent my 4th in the crib.
due to “cute and covid“,
but i spent the whole day trying to avoid fomo but also reflecting.

I’m very blessed.

sure i was home,
but i made it to see another year.
this past year was had many learning lessons,
but it brought about new experiences and  tremendous blessings.
i won’t lie,
but losing my job really destroyed me.
hell,
losing that wolf i was crushing on heavy was another kick in my whole rectum.
in a perfect forest,
i’d have been ridin’ him for my birthday tonight,
but he’s too scary.


for this new year of life ahead,
honestly it’s…

Expect the unexpected.

shit can fall apart in a heartbeat.
who knew this rona shit was gonna be the bane of our existence?
i’m going to continue to work towards achieving career goals,
live my best life,
and learn who i am through therapy.
as far as love,
i need wolves who are aggressive about trying to secure my bag.
i can’t do the scared and the emotionally unavailable.
i don’t beg for love or for dick.
with everything,
i’m learning that blessings can happen once you go with the flow.
this year taught me that.

foxhole,
thank you for sticking with me as always.
as we venture into a new birth year,
i’m excited for whats to come from all i’ve learned.
this year is where the magic will happen.

48 thoughts on “happy birthday to me

  1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Jamari! I hope your upcoming year & years bring lots of good things!!!

  2. You’re not only a slut, but a comedump. All of the blessing that will come and bring you out of feeling like you’re in the dump. (SLUT= Sincere Loving Understanding Talent) I would wish you happiness, but it will come. Nobody knows the future, but I know that these trying times will make you appreciate the truly joyful moments. Joy isn’t easy to hold onto, but it’s like your favorite cake that would ruin your diet. So good you forget all of the 98% BS and strife.

    The naysayers are just jealous they don’t believe in themselves and have to wake up early to support someone else’s dream.

    You are a blessing and will be blessed. All of the love and hugs, Jamari.

  3. all of this love was felt!
    thank you to everyone!
    as always,
    i’m appreciative of your presence within the foxhole community!

    love you ALL.
    -jf

  4. Happy Birthday Jamari!!!! Enjoy.. didn’t know you were Bajan…hmmmm they grow them big down there..
    lmao
    lol

  5. Happy Birthday Jamari!! I don’t normally comment on your blog but I love reading your perspective on things in the life of gay/bi African American men! I’ve been reading for honestly about 2+ years and I can truly say this has blog has been a blessing. Even to the comments (that can sometimes be shady,) I love the intellectual conversation and viewpoints from those around the world. Keep up the good work bro ✊🏾💯

  6. Happy birthday my fellow cancer…cancerian…canceranian? Oh w/e, u know what I mean, lol. Hope you enjoy the rest of ur day!

  7. Happy Birthday Jamari 🎂🎈🎁🎉 May God continue to bless u with many more to come!!! Enjoy your day!!

  8. Hey King- Enjoy your special day! 🎂
    You are a gift to everyone from family, friends and this blog!
    Many more bro!
    We luv u J 💙

  9. Happy birthday! Welcome to the club of those who had birthdays during covid and lock down. I wish that this year will be better than your last.

  10. Happiest of birthdays J!

    May this be the start of your greatest years on earth!!!! Cheers!

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