i said it.
well if we really want to be technical,
fuck 2012 and 2013 as well.
i’ve have had one trying year after another.
the bad definitely outweighed the good.
or did it?
i decided to look through my gratitude journal yesterday.
even though this year sucked ass,
and not in the way i hoped,
i did upgrade a few things…
i was tested this year.
boy was i tested.
i had liar liar,
and everyone who took their side all come at me crazy.
i was lied on and they tried to ruin my reputation.
i remained strong and didn’t let them see me sweat.
i simply used my fox-like cunning and thwarted all their attacks.
they threw stones.
i launched boulders.
“is that the best you got?”
i exposed liar liar for her lies and gained alliances from higher ups.
i became stronger in facing adversity.
upgraded: TURN DOWN
going from “o to 100” only leads to destruction.
the person who is always on the attack creates silent enemies.
the person who remains nice creates a solid reputation.
you don’t have to say everything that is on your mind.
when you are mad,
or being an asshole,
everything always comes out wrong.
everything said about you doesn’t need a response.
some people need to show their ass now,
so they can expose themselves later.
i learned to turn down for antics.
2013 was all about my journey looking for a job.
when i stopped chasing and stopped trying to swim upstream,
that is when this job fell into my lap.
the smart fox knows when to wait until he knows its clear.
i learned to relax and let nature take its course.
i got my first credit card this year.
my credit score is at a great place.
when i was unemployed,
i went to a “business building” seminar that introduced me to credit.
i started thinking about the whole forest instead of just the trees ahead.
my dream is to own a condo or a townhouse.
i also want a car.
no one will trust me with their money because i dress nice or look good.
i learned that credit is important if you want to own your own shit.
friendship is a two way street.
if you want to be cool with me,
then my door is always open.
i don’t chase anyone for their companionship.
i don’t turn down the opportunity to make new friends.
i don’t hop in and out of friendship either.
i am pretty loyal and i realized not everyone can handle that.
everyone isn’t equipped to be a good friend.
i can now sniff out the rancid scent of a bad one.
i learned that i am a good friend and not everyone deserves that.
i know exactly what i want with my life.
i want to write for this blog,
and open up an image consulting agency for wolves with a full staff.
i am headed in the direction of being the male “carrie bradshaw”.
and fine wolves.
i will acquire a press pass so i can attend events and review them.
i learned that 2015 will be the rise of who i am supposed to be.
the only thing that brings joy in my life is the foxhole.
this site allows me to share my story with other classy like minded gay men.
the foxhole is constantly growing and evolving.
i don’t have some rinky dink website.
when i write; people read.
this year allowed me to be noticed more.
people reached out to be so i could blog about them.
we may love the same sex here,
but that doesn’t our money and attention isn’t as worthy as the straights.
hell the straights don’t even pay for nothing.
they better NOT forget that shit.
so it has been another excellent year within the foxhole.
i learned to be thankful for even the smallest blessing.
i became more spiritual.
god is good.
how good is he?
all the time.
the universe continues to provide for me.
i am never hungry nor beg.
even tho i am living check to check,
i have a roof over my head and luxuries i can afford.
i learned that god always needs to come first.
i started to learn my worth this year.
the “gold digga” era has allowed me to learn who i am.
the fire has molded me into who i am.
even tho i am single,
i am continuously growing into a fox a wolf would love.
i have to love me first.
i have to be selfish about me.
i started facing myself and confronting the things i was scared of.
i’m learning if i don’t establish my worth now,
then that gives someone else the power to devalue me.
so even tho 2014 had its moments,
i can’t deny the good it has brought.
i know 2014 may have been hard for you,
but try looking at all the blessings it has brought.
there has got to be something.