Just want to start off by saying love you’re website, which i found randomly browsing. But to get back on topic Im 28 year old, attractive, single black gay male. i find so much that you’re going through, the same shit im going through (exactly) except work wolf. my last serious relationship was 2008, after that its just been random sexual escapades and short lived relationships due to my disconnection to them. i have like a low tolerance for bull shit i cut people and guys i talk to off like nothing if they aint making sense. when i dated i always push the guy away or just be so cold hearted but it just made them attached even more. every week it was white guy, gym rat, thug, dominican, fem, straight, bi, other ethnicity guy, threesomes etc . like pulling guys was nothing, but now i feel so lonely, sad, depressed, like when i look in the mirror. its a sadness in my eyes…that i just cant shake. i went from like this GQ /eclectic / stylish guy to this often portrayed dark goth guy. So now things have change, not that everyone needs to know my sexual preference nor am i ashamed but people response when i say a guy is cute or he can get it, just be complete shock like omg youre gay? i thought you just like white women 0_0 so on top of everything everybody think im straight black guy that like white women. and the guys seem a.) intimidated. b) think im already taken c) stuck up. d) straight so its just like what the hell. i guess the whole point of this letter is to get an opinion cause i never talk about my problems, relationships because im the strong friend, in a good place, but at the end of the night im lonely, incomplete, want love, just someone to give me heart too, and build something great. even though i can be cold i know i can care, and be a good boyfriend but my mood sometime effect how i interact with a guy. like not to long ago, minutes i just had a hookup a guy came over to give me some neck and i returned the favor. now its over i feel incomplete, like why did i do that? its almost a feeling of disgust like every time i hook up. i even threw up few times after. i know crazy i may just be losing my mind jamari just wanna hear what you have to say.
well this was a good one.
i like to read these foxmails.
someone out there is going through the same thing…
you know reader,
you remind me of work wolf in a sense.
he gets with these vixens,
its always a honeymoon period,
texting and all that,
and then he gets bored.
he drops them and they get more attached.
he just asked me the other day:
“why do you think i do this?
i get bored with vixens and i’m over it?”
i told him:
“i don’t know.
maybe that is something you need to explore within yourself.”
i knew tho.
he has walls up.
he admitted it to me before.
i’m surprised he even let me inside.
he just started sharing more personal things with me.
you are not alone.
many have been there.
hell i’m there,
you seem to have something blocking you,
which in turn makes you come off cold.
you let animals in,
but you quickly want them out after it’s done.
there is something blocking you from “feeling something”.
what is it?
well only you know.
it also doesn’t help that its also showing through your body language.
animals always think that “the good looking” have it easy.
sure you can get perks being attractive,
but many people expect your life to be perfect.
they also assume many things about you that aren’t true.
in your case,
that you are:
and the random-est:
you only play in the snow
besides the last one,
i’ve also been there.
it only leads to isolation because you feel no one understands you.
i get you.
i get your struggle.
its definitely not an easy one,
but i know what its like to be so guarded.
i also know what its like to feel disgusted with yourself after sex.
maybe you’re not cut out for the fast life?
you said you feel “incomplete” doing hook ups.
those usually just a quick nut.
there is no connection besides being a blow up doll.
you seem like you want more,
but that “something” is not letting it happen again.
in order for you to go forward,
you need to take a minute to look within yourself.
in order for your phoenix to truly rise,
you have to conquer all those inner demons.
i can’t help you there,
but i will say take some time to search for the answers.
2016 needs to be the year you dig deep to find who you are?
its okay to be guarded,
but it’s not okay to be a prisoner behind your insecurities.
i hope this helped!
i would love to hear some responses from readers who been there.
What was the road like in trying to find yourself?
those testimonies are needed for those in the shadows.