FOXMAIL
Hey, Jamari
I first want to start off by thanking you for this site!! Ever since I was 19 this has really been one of my favorite places to visit on the internet, you’re kind of like my big brother Fox in my head lol.
Okay, so here’s my issue, I’m now 25 (soon to be 26) and feel as if I have let my life pass me by. I’m a Discreet (more so DL) Fox that is originally from the Concrete Forest. After battling a crippling depression spiral for the past seven years that basically made my life revolve around going to work and going home, not really doing much besides hanging out with a few vixens that happen to be like family to me. I recently moved to the Southern Forest with this idea in my head that I was going to start building my life to take back what I didn’t get to have in my youth. But now that I’m here in this new forest I am realizing that I have no idea what I’m doing!! Part of the issue is that the career I’m pursuing in entertainment is finally making some headway and I don’t feel comfortable putting up pics on apps and the many wolves that I do catch staring, I always think that they may be out and so I talk myself out of risking it. On top of all that I have been saving my “first time” for that special wolf. & As I’m sure you can imagine this has led to me not having many intimate experiences (Kind of Embarrassing lol)…
What I really want to know is…
Is it still possible to meet a wolf in real life, without apps and online dating? Did I miss my window in my younger days to find puppy love with my Wolf in Shining Fur and instead should I just focus on having a good time for the rest of my 20’s? & If I do meet him will my lack of experience scare him off?
MY ANSWER…
i love when i receive emails from long time foxholers.
it’s really humbling how long i’ve had support.
i can’t font how much i’m thankful so much for all the love!
now let’s get into this…
regrets.
you can wake up one day,
look in the mirror,
and ask yourself where did your life go?
you COULD have been at every party,
dancing on every table,
and fuckin every male that looked in your direction.
you could wake up,
after doing all that,
and still be alone.
there is no “right or wrong” way to life.
sometimes are meant to be the learning lessons for others.
some people peak early than others.
look at some of the attentionistos out here.
some started early,
did everything during their popularity,
and have now expired
reader,
i feel you on this question HEAVY.
it sounds like a page out of my memoirs.
there are times i ask myself:
Jamari,
wtf are you doing?
…but even in my mid 30s,
that still keeps me interested in life.
there is so much out there i have yet to learn and explore.
i’m finally starting to feel comfortable in my own fur these days.
i realized that needed male attention to validate me.
now,
you have to prove yourself to me for my interest.
i don’t do “mentally low income” in my space.
If I didn’t experience what I did in my own story,
especially in my 20s,
I wouldn’t have gotten to this point
reader,
you’re only 26.
you have a pretty long life ahead of you.
if you don’t feel comfortable with apps,
there is always another avenue for you to meet a wolf.
with you going into entertainment,
you can’t entertain just ANYONE.
i’ve covered how many been caught up because of the “mentally low income”.
you fonted that:
“After battling a crippling depression spiral for the past seven years that basically made my life revolve around going to work and going home…”
^that is what needs to be continuously worked on.
depression will not make dating or life any better.
you’ll meet “the one” and scare him off.
i can admit that i’ve done that over the years.
tbh,
there is a lot of “mentally ill dating” going on in these forests.
being malicious,
petty,
and savage is not a “happily ever after”.
so many who are suffering and taking their issues out on the innocent.
they don’t realize nothing works because it’s them.
so for the rest of your 20s,
keep on fixing you.
don’t worry about if “he” will show up.
get YOU in your most powerful order first.
make sure you set your life up so you aren’t a slave to a job in your 30s.
if you have to play “the villian” to anyone taking advantage then be that.
always be open to new challenges,
work on your mental health,
and i can’t stress this point enough that once you do give it up:
other than that,
your life is exactly where you need to be.
it will only get better if you choose to make it so.
keep on growing and make me proud.
i hope this helped!
supremo blessings to you for 2019.
love,
jf
The problem is, many people are in a hurry because they are watching the lives of others and then comparing it to theirs. You know a lot of gay men seem to think it is all over by 25 and 30, and you are a failure if you are not where you want to be by then. We all have a different journey, and none of our paths are the same. You are exactly my age, and I have had a few meaningful relationships, which were enjoyable at THAT TIME. The point is, even if you found love in your younger years, it is not a guarantee the relationship would have lasted. Life is about living in the moment, and making the good moments last as long as possible.
To the sender of this foxmail Thank You! a lot of us can relate to this, being black gay men I think we deal with gaps of loneliness and have gotten used to it in a way. The only advice I can give is don’t focus on what you didn’t do or could have done is your past, put that energy to the here and now. Age is nothing but a number in most cases, If you wanna have a hoe phase have one (safely o course), if you wanna take it slow do it, or a mix of both, you’re never too old to learn new thing about yourself and the world around you, life doesn’t end at 40 like it did 20 or 30 years ago. (by society standards)
I’m in my late twenties and haven’t experienced true love and being a REAL relationship, I’m not as sexually experienced as I would like to be , and after dealing with years of depression, not feeling attractive or worthy of things I’m at a place where I’m not focus on Love and such I’m just focus on getting my money and getting my life in order. I feel like once I have those things where I want them a relationship will come.
Don’t stress too much over it because Gods sends things your way when you least expect it.
Great words of encouragement.