christmas can be the roughest time of year

it’s no secret this holiday season has been tough for me.
my energy levels have been at an all time low.
i’ve been sleeping on and off all day.
honestly…

My bawdy needed it

i been everywhere these last few weeks.
for lunch/dinner,
i did something different…

I ordered Chinese

no cooking as i usually do.
i wanted a real chill 2019 christmas expereince.
i got:

shrimp lo mein
lemon pepper chicken wings
french fries
shrimp egg roll
iced tea

since i’ve gotten my appetite back,
because i haven’t been eating like that due to my anxiety,
i’ve been starting to keep down full meals again.
i have no complaints on how my christmas it went.
in a perfect forest,
things would be different,
but i’m going through sort of a test right now.
it was tough at first,
but i’m getting it together.
foxhole…

I hope you had a great Christmas day!

i pray it was filled with peace,
love,
family,
food,
and the gifts you wanted.
i’m grateful for all of you for being there with me.
i font it every year,
but i’m so grateful for the blessing that is you.
thank you.

lowkey: i felt megan thee stallion with this…

 

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It’s really hard for me to open up and be vulnerable most times but I know I’m not the only person dealing with these feelings around the holiday times. I see a lot of my hotties checking on me In my dm’s asking how I am and just showing me a lot of love and it really made me get emotional. I’m definitely still in a bad place when it comes to the topic of my mother and great grandmother but they raised me to be strong so I’m going to continue to be strong and make them proud of me. I know that pain is temporary and I’m going to continue to get better and grow into the woman my mother knew I could be ! Just remember to try to always be kind to people , check on them , uplift your loved ones because you never know what people are going through internally.

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some don’t realize how hard the holiday season can be for others.

3 thoughts on “christmas can be the roughest time of year

  1. I worked last night in the ER (i work at a Pediatric Hospital here in Philly) so i got to see the pretty babies coming in lol and i work tonight. Honestly this Christmas i just wanted to rest and be alone. Im always the strong one being emotionally available for everyone but this year I’ve decided I’m having my quiet moments in life and that’s it. New Years I’m doing something different. Going to Chocolate city for a few days. I’m stepping into the new Era turning a new leaf. Megan hit home for me because my Grandmom and i talked daily and she died in 2016 right before the holidays so every year is bittersweet. Blessings on you all. Thank you Jamari for being a light and for being transparent. I love and respect you King. Salute my brotha

  2. I had a gift given back to me. We put so much pressure on this day and don’t realize people aren’t thinking about us the other 364 days.

    This was an educational Christmas and I will not give into the social/media/ridiculous pressure to show love with material things.

    The best gift is time and I will not give it freely any longer. I don’t need 2020 to be better. I’m going to be better no matter what it throws my way.

  3. I was telling a friend today how I had to be strong. I’m hard on my other friends because I grew up having to hear it at home, school, and in public. I have a naturally tough spirit now so folks to deal with stuff. Even without a bf I could manage the holidays alone cause O don’t give af.

    In any case, I always ask this question to people. How do you really feel being by yourself for the holidays? Even so, if you don’t celebrate them, are you fine eating and binging reruns on Netflix deep down?

    The last line of the woman’s Instagram statement is true. We often neglect people sometimes. Being kind does go a long way. I keep thinking bout those people who ain’t here now…

    Also, Jamari wassup with New York being voted the most rudest city in America? I was like, let me go to the Big Apple and see what’s tea for a little vacay and I’m hearing it ain’t nothing but a bunch of sour grapes. 🤣😂🤣

    I need to get my shop on. Imma so lost probably, like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City.

    Happy Holidays whatever folks choose to celebrate and if you don’t celebrate anything, have the best fvcking 2019 ever! 🤸🏾‍♂️🤸🏼‍♀️🤸👏

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