it has taken me a while to realize this key element in life.
i’m sure i knew,
but maybe i was too scared to do it.
some people execute it so flawlessly.
its almost like they intimidate people with this power.
well i did the opposite and look where it has gotten me…
i am the type of person who “believed”,
“ed” key letters,
in being the “nice person”.
i was one of those types who would do whatever to prove that he was.
“i’m not like these other people out here!
i’m one of the good guys!”
i would proudly puff up my chest and proclaim it to the world.
that is until I’ve “realized” quite recently,
“ed” key word,
that its actually counter productive being “the good guy”.
people love the bad guy.
people respond better when you curse them out,
throw temper tantrums,
and fuck all kinds of shit up.
you cannot be this nice dependable person in 2014.
good guys are something for fairy tales and tyler perry movies.
why is this?
well i know why…
PEOPLE ARE USE TO BEING TREATED LIKE SHIT
why do you think these muscular attentionistos rule supreme?
its not like they are good people doing charity work.
we eat up their vanity and their lack of fucks to give.
they put up a selfie and like clock work,
the same thirsty people respond.
begging and pleading for a little attention.
my new boss is another in a long list of examples.
she has been a raging bitch to me lately.
i have done everything in my power to prove myself to her.
i even caught myself doing extra.
liar liar flips on her,
gives her attitude,
and roll her eyes when she feels threatened…
she gets extra days off and other luxuries.
i’ve been wondering lately this box ive placed myself in.
this claustrophobic box of playing by the rules.
ive gotten places or met people due to being genuinely nice,
but ive also been thrown to the side just the same.
people expect me to be there.
people expect me to “be okay with it”.
people expect me to do everything they wouldn’t do with someone else.
god forbid i even disagree just the slightest.
sadly i do it because somewhere inside me lies an insecure perfectionist.
someone who doesn’t want to step on toes.
someone who thinks he will be replaced if he doesn’t follow the rules.
ive been asking myself lately,
where has that gotten me?
am i just fed up?
tired of the same ol song and dance i’m use to?
i feel like more comes with being “the bad guy”.
not the “queen” or “really fuckin’ awful” bad guy.
someone who just doesn’t care about anything but themselves.
until you prove yourself,
you won’t get the luxury of seeing the “good” they have to offer.
i always believe every “bad guy” was a “good guy” once upon a time.