i wanted to post on sunday but i was sick af.
my birthday week was reall chill.
i kept it really low-key,
but got so many amazing birthday wishes.
it was the exact birthday i wanted.
thank you to all the foxholers who sent me birthday love and money as well!
my cancer senses are so heightened right now.
every time i think of something or someone,
i see it or the person contacts me.
i’ve had this one wolf on my mind heavy recently.
i’ve been seeing his name everywhere and feeling a strong sexual pull to him.
i’ve been getting back into more hip hop and r&b.
my comfort zone has been pop.
i’m gonna be a supreme beast when i come back onto the scene.
i’ve been envisioning what i want from my life in my head but…
…i’ve been having a really hard time trying to change the story i tell myself.
i’m so used to expecting the negative or feeling fear.
this has not been easy for me but i’m working on changing.
being a perfectionist and wanting it to be perfect doesn’t help either.
i’m beatin’ myself up because i feel i’ve been doing it wrong.
i’ve been fighting the urge to hop on my burna account and go snooping.
it does nothing but raise my anxiety tho.
i’ve been good at minding my business and talking myself out of it.
i really hate this group chat i’m in.
my old story is to tell myself that it’s cliquey and feels like i’m being ignored.
i want to believe that story.
still a work in process,
but i feel like i’ve been making strides.