5 o’Block

tumblr_nd1g4yxzXb1qhi54ko1_500i have so much to say these days,
but i have no words to express how i really feel.
its like…

i want to speak my mind to you,
but i have way too much going on in my head.
i want it to flow effortlessly,
but i also want to barf a heavy dose of word vomit.
i don’t know what to do.
i don’t know how to get it out.

this is “me” at 5 am.

i can’t sleep.
i threw up like 3 times.
my anxiety is on one.
every time i lay down,
my eyes won’t stay closed for long.
wait.
what?
no.
no i’m not high fool.
QnImwz6i hope everything can come out soon.
its like i want to burst.
the joys of being a creative over-thinker.

i hope you’ll listen once i get it all out.

5 thoughts on “5 o’Block

  1. Sounds like it’ll be something big when you find the words.

    But yeah, I agree with Mikey, no rush. The foxhole will be here whenever you’re ready. 👌

  2. sorry for the typos my eyes were filled with tears, not for what I did not get but for who I am becoming.

  3. I too am up with so much going on in my head I have a ww who I am crushing on bad, but I really do not want to open that door he is not good for me, I feel that I am coming into a new season and I have to birth, this ne season without taking old stuff and old mindsets with me. The work wolf acted like he was feeling me but now that I take a step back to access, he thought I was lie so many gay men and would give him sex, and he would be on to the next, I am so lost because I really do not like being around him, I really feel like I got played, but not by him but by my own mind, I thought he was someone on my level but he is not even close to my level, I like so many out gay men are lonely and when a ww or man acts like they are cool with us we, we let down our guard, when spirit told us to really get to know who we are hanging around it is slow and we, I got caught up, he said all the things I wanted to hear mostly about sex and his size, I got caught up, I am at a place now I can say no more I really do not want to try him because hid spirit is not right I really see him like he is bathed in windex, I just got caught up ,I am dealing with a hurt heart ,and a hurt mind and a hurt spirt, I will bounce back but it has been hard, to let someone in my head and heart, only to be broken is rough but I will recover and be smarter for this lesson, thank you J for this blog I can get out my hurts with a group who have gone through the same thing and help me recover and rebound. love and light.

  4. Damn 3 times ugh hope u feel better

    Don’t worry the foxhole is ready waiting for your words 👍🏾

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