*someone in the life will relate to this.
true story from my experience.

many moons ago,
when i was in entertainment really heavy,
i invited this dude over to my crib because he wanted to talk about his career in entertainment.
he said he was available after 11pm on a saturday night.
11pm.
saturday night.
“talk”.
every time he saw me,
he flirted with me.
of course,
i assumed he was cumming to fuck the shit outta me.
i wanted him too because he was my type.
when he got over to my crib,
he was heavy on the flirting like it was verbal foreplay.
there was one point he was dancing and put his crotch in my face.
i’m usually not bold with wolves,
but i went decided to try something new.
when he sat on my couch,
he opened up his body language to me.
legs were open; hands were leaned back on the couch.
he had nice lips and i kissed him.
he kissed back and then said:

“...so i’m not gay.“

he wasn’t angry,
but he responded like this has happened many times before.
i felt so naked and vulnerable afterward.
it was a feeling i couldn’t explain.
un-wanted,
maybe?
ugly?
feeling like someone had my secret in their back pocket?
i felt open and not in a good way.
we never spoke again.

i was on youtube today and came across a scene from one of my favorite movies.
“american beauty“.
i watched it when i was really young and it made me feel uncomfortable.
when i watched this scene as an adult,
i totally understood it…

Continue reading “do we confuse male attention with our vulnerability and a need to be loved? (american beauty)” →

the energy feels still.
well,
for me anyway.
trump is out; biden/harris are in.
this feels like a real presidency rather than some reality show jackal with adhd twitter fingaz.
he left a disgrace and i played that billboard 200 hit all afternoon.
his biggest supporters are singing a different tune tho.
one of my home-vixens sent me a video of one of his supporters in a higher key…

Continue reading “these are enough white tears to serve at the victory party tonight” →

you know i can spot a fine wolf a mile away.
if it isn’t the back of his head then it’s the way how he walks.
i’m like a “fine pineapple whisperer“.
i’m watching the inuaguration of biden/harris and ^that white wolf randomly popped up in the crowd.
our eyes locked and…

Continue reading “in my fantasies, his name is “nicky” and his job title is “laying concrete”” →