*this will be a sticky thread that will be updated.
UPDATE: 2/22/2024

so before we get into any updates…

so as you know,
or didn’t,
but i took a 100 day challenge of shadow work.
every day,
i’d answer 2 questions from various shadow work websites in my journal.
( x this one )
( x this one )
i’m at day 95 and proud of myself that i stuck with it.
what i’ve learned confronting my shadow…

i was shocked and saddened when i read that mandisa from american idol died today.
i remembered her rooting for her to win.
she had such a warm spirit and was kind even though simon joked about her weight.
even though we don’t know what her cause of death is,
they are saying that she suffered from depression and spoke about her suicidal thoughts.
this is her,
without all the glam and turned “off”:

you can see the sadness within her eyes.
i’m starting to believe that…

i dunno Foxhole.
the more jerrod carmichael opens his mouth
the more he does a disservice to his brand.
at this point,
his whole brand is “i’m gay” and “my white boyfriend“.
i feel like katt williams warned us about folks getting exposed.
jerrod has been exposing himself and its been tuning folks off.
i know he is a comedian and all but he has become the joke.
is that his brand of humor?
i heard good things about his scripted show but this reality show on hbo max?

Disaster.

he caught a lot of heat for that slave play joke that fell flat in the pits of hell.
the breakfast club gave him “donkey of the day” and he went on there to explain it.
well…

*Foxhole,
if you meet someone who looks like this and he wants a monogamous relationship,
you better lock him down and keep him off the social forests.
Big Daddy right hea tho,
it’ll probably a few trips to pound town with some light sight seeing.
Let’s get into it.

the following entry is a doozy but its a real situation we may encounter.
every male we meet that gives us the googly eyes doesn’t always want something serious.
i think with the proper communication and the right questions,
we should already be on the same page with the person giving us the googly eyes.
so i remember seeing big daddy and motule all over my TL.
i didn’t get “relationship” from them because i didn’t see much chemistry between them.
they gave off “gays who have fucked a few times“:

lashawn,
who left that comment,
seems to have cum…
between those two.
in more ways than one?
the F-BI alerted me of this scandal that has the forests barking…

this weekend,
i went far down the oj simpson rabbit hole than i should have.
i was a kid when all this shit went down so i wasn’t interested.
my mother,
grandmother,
and aunt were all locked TF in during the trial.

I remember my aunt having a tabloid that showed the entire crime scene and the dead bodies.

so i watched a few things about the murders of nicole brown simpson and ron goldman,
along with researching all kinds of “who did it?“ and “what was the motive?“.
it creeped me TF out but i was so fascinated.
i learned one thing about oj simpson that reminds me of some of these black males today…

there are some males who thrive in a bi era or implied bi era.
many of us got attention (and some DL sex) by simply being a question mark.
we didn’t answer questions or fight to look straight.
we just let people create their own narratives and they ran with it.
as uncomfortable as it made us,
it actually is what made us more interesting tbh.
i’m looking at you,
kai cenat.
james angel is one of those who is sexier as he moves further into the dark side.
i’m not into his straight side but when he leans into his the idea of being bi…

i love that jacobi and his partner are the “go to” for experimentation.
they aren’t being extra and messy,
which i appreciate.
i’m still annoyed with jacobi for that wack flashman wade video tho.
james is getting OD comfortable and i’m here for it…

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