Going out alone has always been weird to me.
I am so use to finding someone else to tag along with to occupy time.
I always felt it meant you were a loner or banished by society.
Lately, I have been feeling unfulfilled with people in my life.
Tired of waiting for phone calls, waiting for late people to arrive, and tired of being alone even if I am out with a ton of people
(read between the lines of that last statement).
So, I made a desicion to go out and enjoy my life as a solo act.
Go out there, network, and find what I am looking for.
Pop the hood for what I discovered…
I took myself to brunch today.
Jamari took Jamari on a date.
I put on my best outfit and went to a nice restaurant offering the best soul-food in he city.
I saw a ton of celebs have eaten their before and decided to give it a sh0t.
Of course, my non-direction following ass was lost briefly, but I ended up finding the spot.
When I walked inside, I was surprised to see how intimate it was.
It was also all eyes on me, which caused me to become instantly shy.
When I am with someone else, I am able to feed off their energy.
I noticed I became so nervous that when it came time to speak up, I had a frog in my throat.
I was so awkward and not “that guy” people are use too.
I was ONE and ONE was lonely.
I was seated next to a older white couple;
only to realize this white man was feasting on me instead of his plate.
As his wife/girlfriend/mistress was carrying on about some LV bag,
he was carrying on an eye conversation with my body.
My waiter was a muscular dude with guns of steel.
I was so quiet that he couldn’t hear me order what Spike Lee suggested in his review.
I had a Mimosa to start me off on the right path lol
Well, whatever food I ordered, I damn near had a mouth orgasm….
IT WAS DELICIOUS.
I scanned the roomed as I ate and saw an abundance of couples and groups of friends.
It was a diverse mixture.
It was funny to see this white college guy tearing into his fried chicken.
I guess the stereotype is not always true.
I noticed this one cute dude in the far corner with his girl.
They were chatting it up and feeding off their banter.
I smiled and enjoyed their energy, even though I didn’t know them.
There was one sista in there by herself.
She looked mean and bitter.
Her nose turned so far up that she could smell her own ass.
I hope I don’t give off that impression.
As I was finishing up my delicious meal, they came in.
Well I saw HIM first.
This muscular Wolf in sweats and a track jacket.
He looked like a younger version of an older Will Smith.
The Fox was dressed in a blazer, t shirt, jeans, and a fedora.
The Wolf and I played eye games for a brief second, but he was respectful of his date.
They snuck off to a corner seat and enjoyed “them”.
I paid my 12.62, said bye to the waiters, and walked out.
On my first outing alone,
I realized that I need to feed off my own energy.
I was nervous and maybe that nervousness is what Wolfs pick up from me.
THAT DID BOTHER ME.
I won’t lie.
I love this self discovery I am on.
If I don’t find anything else, I will find me.