i don’t know how
i feel like there is something inside trying to come out.
its this feeling of power that i know right now,
i wouldn’t be able to control.
i have to get a hold of what i’m dealing with first.
so i decided that these new season will start from the ashes.
i have decided to start destroying everything that is no good…
the “not good enough”
the “in between blessings”
i’m way too down.
but i’m welcoming this change.
i want to be back in control.
i want my power back.
i want to turn the tables.
so i decided this new season will be called…
…just the fox version.
“In Greek mythology, a phoenix or “phenix” is a long-lived bird that is cyclically regenerated or reborn. Associated with the sun, a phoenix obtains new life by arising from the ashes of its predecessor. According to some sources, the phoenix dies in a show of flames and combustion, although there are other sources that claim that the legendary bird dies and simply decomposes before being born again.”
this sounds like the story of my life these last few months.
so this season will be me working on:
Let things happen.
Give up trying to control.
Don’t pretend i know what i don’t know.
Stay close to what i know is true in the moment.
Feeling bad isn’t wrong – it’s just how things are sometimes.
Take good care of myself.
Engage with others.
Reach out for support.
When the time is right, feel the emotions.
Get perspective – learn what not to do next time.
lowkey: self help books,
law of attraction,
and a swift make over are the study guides under the ashes.
you’ll know when i rise.