ive been wanting to talk about “the haves and have nots” all day.
i even wrote out my thoughts in an evernote on the way to work.
so last night was a powerful scene between veronica and jeffrey.
veronica decided to verbally abuse jeffrey about her constant fears that he is gay.
well she needs to be scared then.
he admitted he had sex with that vixen and hated it.
in a twist of fate,
she told him to “keep on fuckin’ females until he liked it”.
“mother of the year award” goes to…
i nearly threw up…
i like veronica.
well i liked…
she had the best one liners once “roni from chitown” came out.
that scene had me in my feelings last night tho.
besides seeing my benny’s fine weird ass,
all i could think about was the words veronica launched at jeffrey.
it was like venom.
i even got a text from a vixen friend of mine about it.
she was shocked at what she witnessed.
i replied my disgust.
the scene rang true for many of “us” out there.
i often wonder if things like that is how “down low” is even formed?
people can judge all they want,
but it often starts with a “veronica”.
some people may have the “family fairy tale”,
where they came out the closet and had a glass of milk with cookies.
others forgot they once were a “jeffrey”.
being whipped and scolded if they did anything remotely “feminine”.
it brings about a fear of having any kind of emotion.
watching family members talk about gays like dogs.
the words “killing” and “disowning” being thrown around.
in fear of being “that”,
you try to emulate what the others boys do.
go through pussy like a tampon.
having random kids all over the place.
being a caricature of a “straight” man.
the person your very own “veronica” talked about.
that is down low.
it makes you get into fake relationships.
have some kids.
its fun being “straight” until you get that itch.
then you have two phones,
and a trail of hook up accounts.
“baby i’m going to go get some milk!’
as much as they get on my nerves,
i often pity them.
they often try to get close to me in emails as well.
they see me as someone safe.
someone they could talk with.
even tho i live a pretty discreet life,
i accept it as i was once in their shoes.
i was scared of my parents.
i was programmed to be that way.
that episode was one of tyler’s best.
i love this new writing he is doing.
i am wayyyyyyyy over amanda.
i often imagine she shoots herself.
jim and candice are getting redundant.
hannah is annoying as hell,
but jeffrey and veronica?
there is something there.
something that some of “us” can relate.