tumblr_ms1n5frNMi1qjl96uo1_500“do 1,000 sit ups before breakfast.
2,000 before lunch,
and 10,000 before bedtime.”

“see these rock hard abs?
they came from doing sits on the holy grail and drinking cat blood right after.”

“you can get bouncing pecs too.
just make sure you lift your weight in a mini cooper and then wrestle a rabid raccoon right after.”

“i’m a herbalife life assistant. contact me today.”

is herbalife the male mary kay?
yeah so those are all instagram statuses.
you know i keed.
first it was models,
then it was twerking,
now its the BILF (body i’d like to f).

tumblr_ms0o8lpDVR1qfyyoco1_500now we’re talking!
personal trainer wolves have started to flood instagram.
you can’t page hop without seeing compression shorts,
work out videos in the playground,
and sweat juice pecs.
listen i love my wolves with the muscular bodies.
i been known to worship a nice body,
while on my knees with spanish candles burning,
but has anyone noticed that everyone with muscle mass wants to whey in on a workout regiment?
it seems like these wolves who sucked as athletes have decided that training would be their life goal.
how fun is some meaty asshole
telling you that you ain’t shit because you don’t live in the gym?
how fun also that they won’t date anyone who isn’t working out either?
its like they have the personality of a dumbbell.
you notice a majority of these wolves have no one?
how can they have anyone really?
well besides “gymella” and that bitch is pretty much ran through.
hell the illusion of great work out like sex maybe just a fantasy as well.
i don’t mind the free work out tips,
but god forbid i try to hit them up about advice.
hell even personal training sessions…
tumblr_lsbmt6NdyQ1qhtn3ko1_r1_500 tumblr_lsbmt6NdyQ1qhtn3ko2_500i mean you are a “personal trainer” right?
i’m starting to think that personal training is all some of them have to offer.

with a gym now on every corner,
and a “steve to stephon” type dude with an instagram account,
i couldn’t help but wonder…

has personal training
become the new fall back career for swaggless men?

16 Thoughts on “Working Out Means You Signed Your Life Over To The Devil?

  1. black bottom on 28 August, 2013 at 11:13 am said:

    LOLOLOLOL so on point

  2. Real Personal Trainer on 28 August, 2013 at 11:21 am said:

    If he does not have a certificate in personal trainer, only uploads his work out regiment on Instagram, and only has pictures of women working out then he is a poser. A lot of dudes use this personal training as a way to pick up vulnerable horns women (and men). It’s a another form of escorting.

  3. The Man on 28 August, 2013 at 12:35 pm said:

    Some of those personal trainers are full of shit. Half of them weren’t personal trainers until they hired personal trainers to get them in shape. The way I see it all they want to do is find ways to pick up women and some men. The ones that stay asking these men for workout tips just wanna sex too so they are just as bad. If you recognize they are on every dude’s instagram that is cute with a nice body.

    • Zen Buddha on 28 August, 2013 at 1:35 pm said:

      I know, every dude thinks if he has muscles then he’s a personal trainer.There job is easy as hell.”Come on ,one more, one more, you can do it, one more.”Only lazy ass people need a personal trainer.These people make bank off idiots that can’t go to a gym and pick a certain part of their body to work on for the day.Basically, if you have muscles, then becoming a personal trainer is an option for you.I know a few dudes who are personal trainers and it’s because they played football in high school so they have muscles/athletic bodies.I really don’t take the job “personal trainer” seriously.

      As for the dude up top in the pictures, come on man, your brick tits and eye brows are flexing along with your arms, calm down on the weight lifting and/or steroids.

  4. All those steroids stealing their swag

  5. These idiots are only personal trainers for pussy and push notifications. You can’t tell me otherwise!!!!!

  6. Watch out because many of them are juiced up.

  7. DidItOnEm on 28 August, 2013 at 1:51 pm said:

    The real truth behind these personal trainers is they are scammers. They use their body to try and con people out of money for something they can learn pretty much on their own. These personal trainers are “swagg less” because they spend so much time working on their body as a distraction from all the insecurities they have. Going online and getting validation from women and thirsty gay men helps them feel a temporary happiness. When you look at their before pictures, they’re all nerds and feminine cornballs. Any man who spends his life in the gym is all hype. Trust me.

  8. There is a certain popular attention whore as you guys call it who is an escort. He has sex with anyone who has money to pay his bills. His whole Instagram is body shots and working out. Don’t ask because its easy to figure out. SPYLL

  9. Unlike most, I’m not impressed by a nigga with “six pack, pecs, and the whole muscle body” etc… I like a thick nigga that may have a little stomach and definitely got some ass thats soft cause i don’t like muscle butts.

    But to answer the question, half of these dudes are whack af and have no ounce of personality other than being a cocky asshole type who lets the people he beds and how much muscle milk he can drink in an hour define who he is.

    Also of them claim that they don’t want gay dudes on their pages, but i’m sure we all know stories of them getting caught in the act in the inbox. smh.

  10. Man this post is so on point about these so called non credential Instagram trainers, its a joke, of course I cant talk too much because I follow a couple of them :-) I have said in the past, that its a fine line between personal trainers and prostitutes, as well with actors and models, most have to use their looks or bodies to make it because they have little else to fall on. I too have noticed that all these dudes are now pushing herbalife which by the way I got suckered into selling 2yrs ago and I didnt sell one damn thing and was only out of $100 of my own damn money. Its very expensive and most people cant afford all that it encompasses to really do the program right. I agree they are selling their bodies and making you believe that you can take these magic potions and look like them, without knowing all the time and hard work you really got to put in. Its way more dudes on these attention whores pages commenting and giving them props than females, but they never answer the males lol. Most of them are the gayest str8 men you ever seen. Vain, and cocky. How many shirtless pics can you take, and of course they dress it up with oh Im seeing progress, and Im getting leaner, or I have to get my swag back, and so many other reasons they say why they are posing half nekkid on Instagram. On one popular guy page, who has been featured on the foxhole, a dude told him he was short and this attention whore went ballistic. It pretty much lets you know that they are really insecure and if you point out a flaw they have melt downs because they are so used to their thirsty fans blowing smoke up their ass. Just follow all the popular ones and then point out some flaws and see what happens, you will see their true character.

    The first dude Simeon Panda in the towel is taking more than protein shakes, he has gotten really big in a short period of time, especially when you compare his before and after, diet can only take you so far, ask the Rock. Its a special supplements they are both on and thats all Im gone say. To all out there who want to get a trainer, get one for free on youtube, so many on their give great diet and exercise advice for nothing, check out the Hodge Twins.

  11. I heard about Herbalife. I’ve also seen good results from it. I used to drink the shakes to gain weight, but that didn’t work out to well for me. lol
    I see so many workout trainers on Instagram it’s kind of aggravating.

  12. I have no problem with personal trainers. I never would’ve lost the 40+ pounds I’ve lost without mine.

    Granted, I could take it from here and workout on my own without him now, but I keep him around because he’s legit and for accountability purposes.

    I’ve worked with enough trainers to know that you need more than a nice body to be a good one.
    You have to be able to motivate and meet your clients where they are presently and bring them to where you want them to be mentally as well as fitness wise. That takes talent that passing the NASM or ISSA won’t give you. You can’t train someone else the same way you work out alone.

    Most of these dudes on instagram are attention whores who happen to be certified to be trainers. I do follow a few for motivation purposes and new exercise ideas, especially the ones with healthy recipes. I wouldn’t dare comment or like a single pic unless its food though.

    My trainer has an instagram but he has ZERO shirtless pics! Trust he has flawless muscular cross between a track body and a swimmers build.

    The only pic of himself he has is a pic of him in his track uniform and at different triathlons.

    The rest of his pics are just pics of different gym machines and fitness facts.

    That’s the difference

  13. This whole post is kind of ironic because we can all talk down all we want, but we glorify these attention whores. We feed them attention and that’s why they increase exponentially.

    Jamari, when you post a pic of a shirtless dude or some cakes its not for personality or swag purposes. Lol

    We can’t talk down on them one minute and then lust over a nice body the next minute. Lol

  14. I’ve been friends with and dated the muscle dudes with the insane bodies. I’m kinda blase about muscle bodies in general, because a lot of these dudes come with baggage that renders them unattractive. Either they have the personality of crotch lint, and/or they’re insecure, and/or they’re ultra cocky from being worshiped 24/7, and/or they look down on others who don’t live in the gym.

    I’m dating a personal trainer/bodybuilder right now. His body is insane, and he’s had a history of having men and women hurl themselves at him. Indeed, he’s extremely physically attractive, but what really caught me initially was his personality. However, I’ve come to realize he’s arrogant and inconsiderate, and I’ve caught glimpses of a mean streak that I’m sure will only get worse the longer I’m with him. Additionally, he’s shown himself to be clingy and insecure, despite me being attentive (not fauning). I’m about ready to dump him because I’m not really happy in the situation.

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a personal trainer, bodybuilder, or gym rat. I’m working on my body, and I’m attracted to dudes that cultivate their attractiveness via working out (as well as nice clothes, cologne, grooming, etc.). However, I just think the douchiness that many of these muscle dudes display is way too extreme (considering many of them used steroids to achieve their look in the first place). Also, gay guys in general need to stop getting so blinded by hot bodies that they fail to see MAJOR character flaws.

Play nice, stay on topic, and for the love of god: NO SPAM!

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