when you have to say “goodbye” to a friend,
one who has had your back for a very long time,
it can be one of the hardest things to do.
like any relationship,
you both may start not seeing eye to eye.
little things they do start to piss you off.
it happens and it is normal.
some friendships end because the loyalty is gone.
your boyfriend becomes a target.
they listen to jealous or envious voices.
ask any celeb about all their broken relationships.
sometimes a time out is necessary,
but it should only last a little while.
star fox and i tho…
we talked last weekend after a good four months…
star fox moved to atl last summer with the idea to start a new career.
i supported him on his big move.
i was often his biggest and only cheerleader.
sadly he got down there and ended up meeting the wrong company.
he met a couple of hybrids and foxes who were also pursuing the same career.
at first,
they all turned out to be the cool.
not like me.
he decided after a while that it would be a good idea to move in with them.
yup.
during this time,
i would try to call to see how he was doing.
most calls were ignored.
texts would be short.
when we did speak on the phone,
for like 3-4 minutes,
you could hear them being rude in the background.
we were slowly drifting apart.
i was tired of calling and texting to nothing.
i did what was best: separate.
the day before my site went down,
i was on the way to the barber shop and he called me.
he called to apologize and tell me what i already figured.
they had turned on him.
he was become successful in his career and they got jealous.
these same supposed friends he would always talk about turned into foes.
he was forced out into the streets.
luckily someone he was working with allowed him to move in.
i REALLY wanted to say i told you so.
i didn’t.
i listened to the story,
talked about why we hated them,
and kept the convo moving along a usual.
when my site went down,
he helped me so much.
even during that sunday i wanted to give up,
when wordpress was not replying back to me,
he helped me remember why we have been best friends for so long.
today,
i started to think about friends.
unlike someone we meet to date,
friends are pretty much stuck with us.
they become our family.
they pick up us when we fall,
comfort us when we hurt,
and yell at us when we fuck up.
we tell them our secrets,
without any hesitation,
because we know they will keep them.
these days it is hard to find people like that.
i see so many people with revolving door friendships.
friends of seasons; not for lifetimes.
i had to ask,
when you look in your contact list…
I have said this before, but black women and gay men are the people who do the most hating and backstabbing to each other, especially the young ones of today. People have to be careful with who they let in their inner circle. When it comes to real friends I may only have 20 of them. I fool with a lot of people, so that is nothing I could say out loud lol.
I have a story to tell.
I remember when I first got to this school. I had no friends at all. I was in a new location not knowing what to expect. I was desperate to make friends, I was not used to not having any so I was pressed. Well after a couple of weeks, I met a group of straight guys at a talent show. I thought they were cool. They all looked fine and that is what made me want to get to know them, sadly. Prior to knowing them, I had never been surrounded with guys who look just as good as me, so you know I liked that shit, but of course it came with drama. One of them and I clicked instantly(love him), we were real close. Two of them got on my nerves, and it was one who was lost. I never got comfortable around them, and I couldn’t figure out why. I wasn’t being myself at all. I’m a talker, a jokester, and just a fun guy, and I was being neither. They told me that I was quiet as hell lol. Well I figured out why I was so off around them. A couple of friends outside of our circle told me that the two that get on my nerves talk about me when I’m not around. I was shocked, I already suspected it but I was naive. That was why I couldn’t click with them like I wanted to. I wanted friends and I was paying the price. I was paying the price out of pocket for them too. Yep, I gave them all money. After I was told they were talking about me, I decided to cut them off after just three weeks. I was making a lot of new friends, and I didn’t need fake ones. Weeks after I dropped them they wanted to be my friend again, but I declined. The one I liked eventually left the circle as well. He didn’t have time for them. That was a smart move on his part. Then there were three, and they remained close for the rest of the year, surprisingly.
Well this school year, I found out from a friend that all of them are gone except one, and that was the lost one lol. She told me he has no friends. All he does is hang with his girlfriend or by himself. I was surprised cause that man is fine, he is very pretty to be friendless lol. I thought at least the downlows would be trying to bag him, but nope(his attitude stinks a lil bit). I really did like him, but he was a follower, and did not have a mind of his own. Well whenever he sees me he speaks, even if I do not see him. I want a friendship with him, but it would feel awkward. I do feel bad for him through. He was invested in that circle, and now it’s gone and he is alone, but I’m not lol.
^good comment.
that seems like the story for all of us.
i learned a hard lesson that cliques never last.
you did good man by being quiet.
it pays to be someone who stays to themselves and is a one man show.
you go on instagram and everyone is cliqued up.
they gon’ learn soon enough.
lowkey: why is it when the clique breaks up,
everyone wants to throw stones and tell each other’s business?
Let me know if I can recommend ant clean safe efficiencies for him.
^okay will do.
I don’t have any close friends like that and I accept both the advantages and disadvantages of that.
I will always live alone. Tried the roommate thing in college and it doesn’t work. Even if I did get along with the person when things go south I need my own space.
Not to be an asshole, but why would you want to stay with other gay men knowing how they are?
^i told him so.
he tried to give me the old song and dance.
i told him they couldn’t be trusted.
it always starts out like you have found your best friends.
it ends up being the same story.
With all the horror stories we hear about what happens to dudes that move to ATL, why would you go and do the same shit?
The majority of gay men in their 20’s are too high strung with low confidence and self-esteem to be living together. The competition is too much. You put 2-3 in an apartment together and it won’t end well.
^the stories he was telling me.
how they would use their “careers” to meet dudes.
which is why they are going nowhere.
one time one was having a business meeting with a potential client….
that ended up with the client getting his pipe polished in the bedroom.
so you sayin i cant come over??? fine your lose