The Day Jamari Fox Exploded

tumblr_m3txg2Vviz1qbulcao1_500it all started by me being hungry yesterday.
around 3pm-ish or so.
i decided to go over to my local bodega for lunch.
i was fiending heavy for a steak and cheese.
everything on it.
my usual.
so i get it,
eat it in damn near 15 minutes,
and thought to myself what a good time to be alive.
well not really…

in about an hour or two after i ate it,
i started feeling weird.
it felt like this dark cloud was cast over me.
i wanted to lay down,
but then the thought of laying down made me feel worse.

that’s when the throwing up started

there went my 8.00 down the drain.
literally.

that’s also when the uncontrollable shittin’ started

a wonderful two for one special for the next couple hours.
which crevice did it all wanted to come out of?
both!
at the same time!

water
gatorade
seltzer water

everything i drank wouldn’t stay down.
on my life,
i thought i was going to die.
okay.
dramatics,
i know.
i caught myself praying to porcelain god to make it end.
seriously.
i was propped up on the toilet while praying.
i must have made promises to god for the next 2 years.
clearly he wasn’t listening to my bullshit.
after crawling into my bed,
i finally went to sleep around “god finally answered”-ish.
well tried anyway.

my stomach is sore from all the throwing up
my asshole feels like it’s been demolished so it can be rebuilt again

it was not a good day to be any hole on jamari fox.

BCF4buo

15 Comments

  1. Chris said:

    Oh no!! I hope u are feeling better

    February 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Jamari Fox said:

      ^thanks chris.
      i hope to get some relief soon.

      February 28, 2016
      Reply
  2. mikey kun said:

    Damn stomach pains and diarrhea are the worst, hope you feel better. Eat some saltines to settle your stomach.

    February 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Jamari Fox said:

      ^thank god i had crackers in the crib mikey.
      i’m finally starting to keep food down

      February 28, 2016
      Reply
  3. Dee said:

    Damn, laughing because I know how that shit feels too well. I got food poisoning from Mickey D a couple of years ago. Bruh, I like to think I can handle pain, but that was something else. I hope you start to feel better.

    Then my family was out here trying to come up with a get rich quick scheme.😁 I didn’t have time for that, threw away the food and receipt anyways.

    February 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Jamari Fox said:

      ^food poisoning is no joke.
      i didn’t really sleep last night due to the pain in my stomach.
      smh.

      February 28, 2016
      Reply
  4. Old Head said:

    Sorry to hear you going through this. If you feel up to venturing out, buy some herbal peppermint tea and some ginger tea. Drink them separately without adding anything. The peppermint should calm your stomach. The ginger has good immune boosting properties. Hopefully, there are some good health food stores nearby.

    February 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Jamari Fox said:

      ^oh.
      how ironic i have both peppermint and ginger tea?
      i love tea.
      my family grew up drinking tea so i always keep some around.
      mostly green,
      peppermint,
      and ginger.
      i will drink them both today.

      thank you for the comment.

      February 28, 2016
      Reply
  5. kareem said:

    Feel better Jamari

    February 28, 2016
    Reply
  6. Tajan said:

    As a victim of food poisoning not once but twice in my lifetime, I can tell you it aint no fun. For Lent, I decided to give up read meat, chicken, turkey and pork and only eat seafood once per week. I have been basically eating a lot of fruits, veggies, beans and probably more junk food than I should, but I can already tell a difference, I may never go back to meat again at this rate. In giving up the main protein sources, I have found myself not eating any fast food and after reading your story, I think I will stay on track and just eat at home from now on so at least if I get sick I know it was something I done, and not have to worry about some nasty ass person not washing their hands, or ass or somebody not following food safety guidelines. I am glad you are feeling better. When you do feel better try to eat more fruits and veggies before you reintroduce hard solid foods back into your diet.

    February 28, 2016
    Reply
  7. RW Udiwki said:

    Take probiotic pills. They really help recovery from food poisoning.

    February 28, 2016
    Reply
  8. Christian R. said:

    I’m only laughing at the way you wrote that. You could be a damn comedian, Jamari. In all seriousness though, feel better.

    February 28, 2016
    Reply
  9. Lindo said:

    Clearly something was wrong with that streak and cheese. How embarrassing!!!!

    February 28, 2016
    Reply
  10. Dean said:

    Sounds like food poisoning. Sorry. Get well soon.

    February 29, 2016
    Reply

Play nice, stay on topic, and for the love of God: NO SPAM IN THE FOXHOLE!