i woke up this morning at 4am in a sweat.
it was kinda hot in my apartment,
because the heat been on “hoe in church with no draws on” level.
i went to sleep naked that night.
i had a funny feeling in the pit my stomach.
something didn’t feel “right”.
i get those feelings often.
i got up and went to check the locks.
i walked throughout the crib to make sure no one was hiding in my closets.
(ha ha ha i already hear the jokes now).
i looked at my mail on my coffee table.
no current or overdue bills.
restaurant ads and junk mail.
my apartment was clean.
i gave a quick thanks to god.
he has provided me so much and i am truly grateful.
i laid on my couch.
what was this feeling i was having?
why was i having it?
i wasn’t use to it.
then it hit me!
i was feeling the effects of “my house was in order”.
i had no drama in my life.
i’m not getting fucked on the regular,
but i don’t have to worry about some bullshit ass wolf.
no struggling to pay bills.
food was in my fridge.
but i was still making it.
i cut off all the dead weight.
i erased a ton of useless contacts in my phone.
so why was i feeling like this?
why was i up at 4am,
and still stripping myself down looking for something wrong?
i started to wonder…
if i am so used to things going completely left field…
Was I actually shocked when things are going right?
on its first official day of spring,
or the first “damn it’s hot” day,
i decided to get dressed and head out.
let me ask you something, my reader.
you ever got it just right?
your mood is right
you look good.
your outfit looks and fits perfectly.
kicks go perfectly.
well that was me a couple of hours ago…
Cry it all out Vixen…
Just cry it all out….
Just hopefully on something you will receive a check…
Well, let me 1st say that I have been reading/following IJF for a while now. Time to comment. I have had wolves, foxes, and vixens all of that.. come to me. It’s not about looks it is more about making yourself a brand. Caring about the right now while planning your next move for tomorrow. Being in touch with yourself somehow allows you to be more open with others. I’m only 21 but based on my experience, if you want something bad enough.. do nothing.. but give everything. If that makes sense.
I guess it’s a coincidence that we both happen to be Scorpios. But, you pretty much nailed it. Some people spend a lot of time over thinking and they lose their overall goal. If you can focus more on what you find imperative and less of what you desire.. then you can truly find what you have been looking for… without using GPS. ;o)
Compliments of one of my readers, Duhhebadd.
I went to sleep with that whole comment section on my mind.
Matter a fact, I woke up and they were still there.
The message was clear, but still in a Rubik Cube my mind was turning.
Just like the Wolf code I was trying to crack.
Take a walk in my past to see what I found out about myself…