Tag: me

tumblr_mv32huq06e1r338b3o1_500lunch.
today.
alone.
the line at subways was od long.
this random older white vixen starts talkin to me.
i like talking to strangers.
you can learn a lot.
we started to chit chat about the weather and other things.
she says:

“you give off good vibes.
you have a good spirit.”

“thanks.
you should tell other people that.
the ones who hurt me.”

“they’ll learn soon.”

little did she know,
i was really feeling like my heart has been ripped out my chest.
it’s sad how i’m just aimlessly living life.
a life where:

i don’t realize my own strength and power
i’m lookin’ for someone to love me
i put others before me
i allowed and tolerated disrespect

i came to a decision today.
well i came to it two weeks ago,
but i shared it with a closer reader in emails.

this afternoon is when i really set it in stone

A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI

tumblr_muim2lwGV51rocvj9o1_1280as you know,
i love turning my crib into a spa.
since i can’t afford to go to a spa at the moment,
i always try to make my sanctuary my place of peace and pampering.
lately i have been feeling a little backed up.
i haven’t been as regular as i wanted to.
i decided that i was going to do a “colon detox” this weekend.
i wanted to treat myself inside and out.
foxes definitely need to make sure our tails stays fresh.

so it was a “me” situation this weekend.
no thoughts about work or a work wolf.
this entry is going to be tmi so you have been warned.
lets rewind back to a couple days ago…

A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI

going-around-in-circles“i don’t know what i want.”

there i said it.
i thought i knew,
but i have no idea.
i know i want to be happy.
that is always number 1.

what is happiness to jamari fox tho?

A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI

rainy_path_by_21711-d60m6d0so what triggered everything yesterday?
the letter.
the letter i got in the mail letting me my ui is ending next month.
now i know you say:
“well you already knew that.”
i did.
the letter came at the wrong time especially after the following events.
its a little long read but i hope you read it…

A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI

brokenbeyoncei always liked this beyonce song,
“save the hero”.
i think i mentioned that before.
the lyrics are a true testimony of my life.
you know the person who is always there for others,
acts like the super hero,
goes above and beyond to make sure they are okay,
keeps a great reputation,
but when the super hero goes home and takes their mask off…
who saves them?
i had someone who use to save me.
someone i felt comfortable to talk to and share myself with.
he has passed on and it has left me a complete mess.
my life is a fuckin mess.
do you still like me now?
i know people like living in a fantasy of others these days.
at least i have the balls to admit it.
a long piece ahead…

A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI LIVIN' THIS LIFE WE LIVE