i wrote something yesterday,
not out of a place of sadness,
but looking out from where i am right now.
it felt good to let it off my chest.
i was actually at a peaceful place when i wrote it.
tired af,
but at peace.
that is the scary part because i was in a zone of no fucks.
i didn’t cry when i really write something emotional.
i was good.
i just wanted to release.
that i did…
Continue reading “You Answered My Cries In The Dark Forest” →

…um,
i must be a vixen then because i did ^that this weekend.
every weekend is “in home spa” for me.
does caitlyn realllllllllllllly understand what being a vixen is?
or is it all about the aesthetics for her?

i don’t get why animals do this.
they create a spectacle,
get caught up,
and then have to admit they lied to the world.
no pride?
well remember ( x this story ) with pastor jordan brown?
he is the gay pastor who accused whole foods of writing a gay slur on a cake.
well look at the outcome…
Continue reading “Finally, The Whole (Foods) Truth from Pastor Jordan Brown” →

i been thinking about this for a while.
so i’m a fraud.
ain’t no better time than to be honest…
Continue reading “I’m A Fraud” →

if those walls could talk.
take that how you will.
i really like this photo session with steven beck for foto119…
Continue reading “Steven Beck Looks Comfortable” →

FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari,

Recently I’ve been a bit exploration with my personal life. Throughout my life ive only been with two guys. With pressure of being a virgin i ended up payed someone to do the job but we didnt get that far. Recently I’ve met this guy that’s really nice with tons of ambitions in life. A handsome college grad thats a few years older than me. He’s a bit feminine but it doesn’t show in his appearance which is okay to me… but I get absolutely nothing sexual from him. I’ve even told him about my past but he has hard time believing he’s the first guy I’ve been with. He’s made me realize I’m not sexually attracted to sex but I’m attracted to the fantasy of being with someone beyond physically. When i see someone, i think about what it would be like to be THEIRS or for them to be MINE. This not only applies to men for me, but for women as well. I feel because of things being so sexual nowadays it seems like people skip over falling in love with someone. They go more towards lust now. instead It’s more so just a hookup or fwb sex that most people are after. I though the increasing want to have sex with someone came from being so deeply connected to someone that there’s no other way to show how much you love them? Maybe it has something to do with being abused as a child… These thoughts have had me down for a few months now and i dont know what to think of them. Being bisexual is already a bad enough label. People immediately assume im hoe-ish. Ive been through so much now im about ready to give up on something that seems so hopeless.

Am I wrong for feeling this way?

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: Skip The Sex, But More Fallin’ In Love? Weird?” →