control.
your control.
control in what you say.
control in what you do.
are you really doing it your way?
some of us in life want to be in control of everything.
we have to make sure things go smoothly.
when they don’t,
it can equal a disaster.
for the rest,
they live life on their terms.
they have fun and jump head first.
rocks or water,
who cares!
just jump and pray god has your back towards the bottom.
i had to ask…

Do you like to always be in control?

Continue reading “The Only Thing You Need To Control Is His Penis Inside You” →

i’m not really into gay clubs/bars.
depending on the event,
i’m not into the straight ones either.
well that is unless i’m in VIP.
i don’t do “on the floor”; no j.lo.
last night a hybrid associate wanted me to come out.
he knew i was depressed so he wanted me to “remember” what fun the city was.
i thought we were going to a restaurant or something.
no.
oh no.
he wanted me to meet his new snow fox that he has been messing with for two months.

“you made me miss breaking bad and devious maids for this?” i asked, when i arrived downtown.
“he’ll pay for your food and dranks.”
“…okay so where we going.”
“a gay bar.”
“oh jesus.”

i wanted to turn around…
Continue reading “No Straights, No Shirts, But Good Service” →

rappers love to sag.
who knew rappers had such nice cakes?
well let the sagging commence…
Continue reading “WOLF MEAT: RAPPER EDITION (342)” →

“do 1,000 sit ups before breakfast.
2,000 before lunch,
and 10,000 before bedtime.”

“see these rock hard abs?
they came from doing sits on the holy grail and drinking cat blood right after.”

“you can get bouncing pecs too.
just make sure you lift your weight in a mini cooper and then wrestle a rabid raccoon right after.”

“i’m a herbalife life assistant. contact me today.”

is herbalife the male mary kay?
yeah so those are all instagram statuses.
you know i keed.
first it was models,
then it was twerking,
now its the BILF (body i’d like to f).

now we’re talking!
personal trainer wolves have started to flood instagram.
you can’t page hop without seeing compression shorts,
work out videos in the playground,
and sweat juice pecs.
listen i love my wolves with the muscular bodies.
i been known to worship a nice body,
while on my knees with spanish candles burning,
but has anyone noticed that everyone with muscle mass wants to whey in on a workout regiment?
it seems like these wolves who sucked as athletes have decided that training would be their life goal.
how fun is some meaty asshole
telling you that you ain’t shit because you don’t live in the gym?
how fun also that they won’t date anyone who isn’t working out either?
its like they have the personality of a dumbbell.
you notice a majority of these wolves have no one?
how can they have anyone really?
well besides “gymella” and that bitch is pretty much ran through.
hell the illusion of great work out like sex maybe just a fantasy as well.
i don’t mind the free work out tips,
but god forbid i try to hit them up about advice.
hell even personal training sessions…
i mean you are a “personal trainer” right?
i’m starting to think that personal training is all some of them have to offer.
with a gym now on every corner,
and a “steve to stephon” type dude with an instagram account,
i couldn’t help but wonder…

has personal training
become the new fall back career for swaggless men?

you ever see something so juicy…
you just wanted to take a bite out of it?
well this reminds me of those moments…

Continue reading “WOLF MEAT: (336)” →

who knew people were paying attention to that discussion lindo and i were having?
well an f-bi sent in an email with proof about how spanish wolves do “us” on a chat site.
i mean this is just one out of many,
but is there an exception to the rule?
and if there is an exception,
what do you have to look like to be accepted?

lowkey: i will mess with a cuban and a dominican.
dammit!
i need to hear the sweet sounds of spanish in my ear while they are in me.
#dontjudgeme
where all the non prejudiced spanish wolves who look like this:

*faints*