Tag: foxmail


I’ve been stalking your blog for about 2 years now but I never comment, but I love your blog and the advice you give so now it’s time for me to ask for some advice for my self.

Some background about me, I am 18 years old and I live in London and I am attracted to females and males so I guess I’m bi and I guess I’m DL because nobody knows about it, but right now I’m thinking of experimenting. I’ve been curious for a long time but now, I’ve had sex with a girl and I’ve watched gay porn since like a few months ago and I like it but bare in mind that I’ve been curious for a very long time, like probably since 13 years old. However, now, I want to take my curiosity to the next level…

I want to try sex with a man.

Recently, I downloaded Grindr ( I know, bad move) but it’s seemingly the only place to find someone who wants to get down and where I live I’m sure there are gays but the girls come out more than boys. It is interesting to see who uses it though because I’m seeing people who you wouldn’t think are gay and I’ve actually chatted to one – he told me he was “straight-acting” , but was out to his boys, i just found that interesting, like you know those type of gays are around but not until you actually see it for yourself, its fascinating. Anyway, I am aware of how bad that app can get, I don’t trust anyone on there, I don’t act a fool and stupidly send pics to everyone, like I don’t know if I could be talking to the killer so I’m very conscious about who I’m talking to, but obviously you never know because people are very good actors.

I’ve got the usual DL worries, I’m scared that someone will see my messages or this guy I’m currently talking to will tell other people about me, at this time of writing, we have not exchanged face pics but we have described ourselves to each other and I like the sound of him, there is a spark. But, I‘m scared that I may be going in too fast and acting like I’m ready when I’m not, you know? It’s annoying because me being ready fluctuates – sometimes I am and I feel to try the dick and sometimes I’m like maybe not now.

As slightly previously mentioned , I’ve met this one guy on Grindr and we seem to be clicking, we’ve moved from Grindr to iMessage and I’m literally talking to him as I type this and (UPDATE) – he’s just given me a time frame of 9 days to “get some”, as he mentioned that his “head game was crazy”, and I said that “I want some of that” – messy I know.

So basically Jamari, my questions to you are:

1) Do I continue using Grindr to explore my curiousity (in terms of having gay sex), becasue the main thing I want to try is sex with a guy
2) Any tips with using an app like Grindr?
3) Am I rushing into things, I only started using Grindr however at times I feel like 100% ready then at times my confidence comes all the way back down and I don’t feel ready at all
4) Any tips to prepare for sex with a guy?

I’m sorry if this seems long and messy but I am hoping for your advice really soon, I am a fan and I love your work on here. Congratulations on your recent job position by the way, it’s nice too see your growth on here and how you broadcast it.

Help me, Jamari!



*the following entry is parental advisory.
graphic language and images a bound!


Hey Jamari,

I’m going into my fifth year of college. Five years ago I thought college would be the time to really find myself but I haven’t done much of that. I’ve achieved in all other areas, top of my class, damn near 4.0 GPA, recognized leader on campus, going into my senior year with job offers in a good STEM field but my sex life still isnt figured out and I’ve been working since freshman year. I started looking at guys more but I noticed I don’t really like guys, I just like dick if that makes sense, and I only like head, no bottoming or topping. I tried going back to girls but I wasn’t getting up and it was awkward for both parties. I’m not into guys emotionally but it’s hard to get turned on by girls physically. I’m DL and also don’t want my business out there so I try not to mess around too much. What should I do?




Sooo I’m clearly a fem bottom. I always have had a light voice it never really got any deeper. I’m young I enjoy and love sex. My throwback game strong I give some of the sloppiest bj’s ever I’m told by almost everyone I have sex with that I’m amazing and I do all the right things that they like and turn them on. But usually I deal with punk ass niggas that spread my business. I’m fem but I just want to establish some type of NSA with someone discreet or DL but then it turns out almost all the DL/discreet niggas get exposed on places like tumblr n shit and all they business out there.

What do I do?

A lot of them either aren’t attracted to me or think I’ll tell their business cause I’m fem. But all I really want is for them to come lay the pipe and get the fuck out. Im NOT one of those niggas that screams slay queen or slay BeyoncĂ© but I enjoy lots of other “feminine” things. It makes it hard for me to find someone who I can casually fuck but also keep my business my business.

So what should I do?
Who should I try to establish a relationship like this with?

It’s hard to trust other queens out there because they are always involved in drama and outing each other.





Thanks for the amazing job and advice that you have on your blog. I’m certain that I speak for the Foxhole, we love you and the best is yet to come.

Since being in the A (Atlanta for those who don’t know), I have had my share of hood wolves, pretty boy hybrids, and confused jackals.

I’m now feenin’ (not in love) with a moderately known model/attentisto who is always on Instagram and Snapchat. We are in the same age range (26-30) but his immaturity and use of social media is annoying. He looks like a younger version of a foxhole favorite of Oshea Russell but he is annoying because I know he is hoeing around with vixens and snow bunnies in a small college town.

Even when I discussed the nature and potential growth of our relationship, he said he prefers text than calls, he does not call or text me during the day or evening and have to follow him on Snapchat to know what is going on.

The time that we have known each other is about a month and always give new relationships a couple of months to flush out the residual relationships (wolves, foxes, vixens, and snow bunnies).

Since he has just finished school, he tells me he wants to move to Atlanta but I think he is a hobosexual (Someone who couch surfs and pretends like they love you and let you suck and fuck you occasionally ). I sense that from him but he also has a criminal record, constantly with vixens saying that they are friends and to build his brand, and I don’t think he has a job.

Jamari: Do I wait it out or move on to someone who will appreciate me and fuck me like crazy? There are a ton of IG wolves especially here in the South and this wolf/hybrid is pushing 30 so you think he would be more chill or less attentisto.

I don’t want to be his come up with my money and connection ( Like Mama Pope said on the season finale of Scandal…We build these black men up so they can go to basic bitches)

I’m really at a crossroads of being single or just fucking with no strings attached with wolves because I don’t want the pain.

I have been listening to the remix of Khalid’s Location and I think about him as related to that (Damn!)

Need your help!




Hey Jamari, I’ve been following your blog for a few months now and it’s funny how you’re one of the few people I can talk to about this and we haven’t even met. Your aura is so awesome it can reach people through a computer screen. I’ve never had to deal with this kind of situation so I’m asking for help.

I think I’ve met my soulmate. Almost a year ago I became friends with this guy at a get together. I was advised by some of my other friends to avoid him because he seemed strange but he was pretty cool so I kept talking to him. Since then we’ve practically hit it off. Everything he likes, I like. Every idea I’ve had since I was a child he’s had. Talking to him was like looking into an opaque mirror. Since that day, he’s become my best friend. I’ve been to his house where we’ve sat up and talked about everything until dawn. I’ve never met anyone I’ve had this deep of a connection with. There’s even times we can tell what the other’s thinking. It’s even gotten to the point that we finish each other’s sentences. He’s the only person I feel like I can tell anything to or go to for anything but… I think we both have feelings for each other and we’re to afraid to take that step. He got drunk one night at a party and told everyone we should be together. Everyone had an omg look on their faces and when he realized what he said he tried to play it off. I was drunk too and I didn’t want to make a scene so I just laughed it off. A few days later two of our friends suggested we be together, back to back. Even they can see it, but it got awkwardly shrugged off. Since then I feel like he’s been in his feelings and idk if he even still feels the same. I’ve never dated a guy. It’s not often I can imagine spending my life with someone, let alone another guy but I’d be willing to try with him. It’s like we were made for each other. We’re both aces which would make things a lot easier for us. My feelings for him have grown so intense that it’s hard for me to control it now. There’s so many examples of him passively flirting with me that I’ve lost count but nothing was ever initiated. If I let him go it’s gonna haunt me for eternity but I’m afraid to tell him how I feel in case I’m blind and it’s one sided, but I feel like I’m gonna lose him if I don’t. I honestly don’t know.

What do you feel would be best?