i found out of of me (ex) home vixens turned she-hyena has been betraying me.
she has been talking shit about me,
secretly outing me,
telling my business,
and a whole other bunch of foul shit to their friends.
animals i don’t or barely know.
i got it all in a text message from someone i barely know.
“they aren’t comfortable with your sexuality”
that felt like a slap in the face.
i don’t walk around here throwing my life in animal’s faces.
i am very low key,
but the fact someone only tolerated me…
someone that i thought was my friend i shared that with…
it has left me numb.
i wasn’t numb enough to curse her the fuck out tho.
it doesn’t help i was good to this hyena either.
i recently helped her with her resume,
was a shoulder with her ain’t shit wolf,
and listened to her cry about her past.
this is the thanks i get?
i should have known better tho.
it wasn’t like she was the most loyal to the same animals in her life.
i guess my issue is i always feel i would be different.
she admitted to what she did.
well first she tried to lie
but i always have receipts on standby.
she had no choice but to admit defeat.
i feel like i’m made of stone today.
i have no appetite or the energy to do anything.
i feel like my heart has been ripped out my chest yet again.
i can’t seem to cry.
this all played out like the last situation.
that one still has me broken.
that one has me watching him meet new straight wolves and moving on.
he has me feeling like i was nothing in that year we knew each other.
was he just tolerating me because of my sexuality?
i had to ask myself this after yesterday.
they both left my life like cowards when i was always upfront.
you know it never gets better as we age?
getting backstabbed and being betrayed.
i don’t know if i want to let anyone else in my life anymore.
i know that goes against who i am because i love meeting new animals.
i’m starting to question if i’m an easy target?
do people really care about me?
or are they just tolerating me to use me?
i work in hell,
i come home to hell,
and now i feel like hell in between.
what is really going on?
are you trying to destroy and make me crazy?
lowkey: am i just here for people to hurt and leave me?
only to come back when they see no one else is like me?
it never fails.
left did it and we became tighter friends…
but it gets very draining.
i’m fed up.