Remember When I Use To Get All That Dick?

Life is funny.

I am sick as a dog with a stomach bug.
It feels like the devil’s incarnate mega hell stomach bug.
I am throwing up, feeling normal, and then throwing up again.
Let me not get into the shittin’ aspect of it all.

It is absolute hell.

But even during all that I realized something about this shit called life.
No pun intended.

I was sitting at work today,
looking and feeling like hot shit on a death plate,
when my co-worker came and brought me cupcakes because it was her birthday.
Everyone pitched in and bought her a platter of birthday cupcakes.
Since she is cool with me, she bought me a whole plate.

Super Duper Chocolate
Brownie with extra fudge
M&M Covered
Red Velvet
Peanut Butter Crunch
… the works.

I could not eat not ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am on a strict “Get Well” plan and if I even ate one, it would be a wrap.


Isn’t that just ironic?
Now I could have been sitting in the office feeling well, hungry with the biggest sweet tooth, and this would not have happened.

But as soon as I’m not allowed too, here it goes.

I notice the same with trying to find a dude I’m even interested in.
You can look and look and not ONE will be there.
You walk out the door and the finest dudes are walking past you, not even noticing you (since many of them are straight).
But as soon as you are in a relationship or say ‘I’m not looking‘…

HERE COMES THE WOLVES OF YOUR DREAMS.

It is like God removes the invisibility shield and you suddenly look like a shiny new toy.

I noticed when I was chasing females and not even paying attention to dudes,
I was getting hit on left and right.
AND FROM WOLVES I LUST FOR.
They were all on me and I had them coming out of downlow character with the obvious, if I do say so myself.
Shiiiiiiiiit
I had an NBA rookie at the time following my ass around in the mall when I was window shopping with Star Fox.
It was only because their pickup signs were going way over my head.
Even when I was just meeting Wolves and not really looking to be scooped,
kind of treating them like:

“Ha, yeah, ok, aight, & what’s ya name again?”

… and as it should happen, the tables turned and they were fiending looking for me.
I wasn’t giving up the booty AT ALL.
(well maybe to a couple lucky contenders)

Blowing up my phone,
Sending texts,
Yahoo/aim (you name it) trying to get my time of day.
Now – *crickets*…

Why is this?
Is this God’s way of making jokes?
If so, I’m not amused.

Maybe…
I have become too desperate and need to go with the flow like before.

When I wasn’t looking, I gave off an air of nonchalant.
I was just doing me and concentrating on Jamari Fox.
Now, my nose is so wide open for a Wolf that he can smell it a mile away.
And then it happens: The Turn Off.

I got to figure out what I USE to do and go back to basics.

Just a random thought entry.
Nothing too serious.

Later

7 Comments

  1. 4thn10 said:

    Honey is the only food on the planet that will not spoil or rot. If you are suffering from a cold or flu you need to take 1 tablespoon of lukewarm honey with 1/4 a tablespoon of cinnamon powder daily for three days. Doing this will cure most chronic cough,cold and clear your sinuses. A study recently also found Honey and Cinnamon are a remedy for the following:

    HEART DISEASE …….. Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, apply on bread, instead of jelly and jam, and eat it regularly for breakfast. It reduces the cholesterol in the arteries. Regular use of the above process relieves loss of breath and strengthens the heart beat. Also as you get older the arteries and veins lose their flexibility and get clogged; honey and cinnamon revitalize the arteries and veins.

    CHOLESTEROL ……. 2 tablespoons of honey and 3 teaspoons of Cinnamon Powder mixed in 16 ounces of tea or water was found to reduce the level of cholesterol in the blood by 10 percent within two hours. If taken three times a day it greatly reduced bad cholesterol numbers.

    And I will let you know how this one goes : WEIGHT LOSS ….. In the morning 1/2 hour before breakfast on an empty stomach, and at night before going to sleep drink honey and cinnamon powder boiled in 1 cup of water. If taken regularly, it reduces weight and the study shows it does not allow fat to accumulate in the body.

    February 9, 2011
    Reply
      • 4thn10 said:

        Cooking Daily with Garlic whether it be fresh,minced or powder helps strengthen your immune system !

        Mince one large clove of garlic or you can buy it already minced in your produce department. This brings out the most Alicin which you do not get in the powder form. Alicin is a compound that can help remove heavy metals from the body. do not be afraid to sprinkle it on any dish….. Well maybe not Frosted Flakes.

        February 10, 2011
  2. Della said:

    Child…maybe you pregnant….lord jesus…WHO DA FAHVA OF UR BABY?

    February 9, 2011
    Reply
  3. UrSoVain said:

    Throwing up? Despite how bad you must feel all i could think of was “wow, imagine all the weight you’ll lose?!” Isn’t that awful? lol. Focus on feeling better as opposed to your present state.

    And I think guys being all on you when your not looking is because of just that. I’m pretty sure a lot of these guys are attracted to your unavailability because they are (emotionally) unavailable as well. They probably like that you pose a challenge and they feel as though they have to “work” to conquer you. But as soon as you become available and willing to put both feet in the situation you lost your shiny new exterior… and they lose interest.

    February 10, 2011
    Reply
    • UrSoVain :

      Throwing up? Despite how bad you must feel all i could think of was “wow, imagine all the weight you’ll lose?!” Isn’t that awful? lol. Focus on feeling better as opposed to your present state.

      And I think guys being all on you when your not looking is because of just that. I’m pretty sure a lot of these guys are attracted to your unavailability because they are (emotionally) unavailable as well. They probably like that you pose a challenge and they feel as though they have to “work” to conquer you. But as soon as you become available and willing to put both feet in the situation you lost your shiny new exterior… and they lose interest.

      I agree with the bottom part. I was pretty emotionally unavailable. I wasn’t checking for anyone. I am starting to go back to that because that is when I was truly the happiest. I was checking dudes out, do not get me wrong, but they never went past “what if…”

      Moreso, “Damn I’d give him some…” and be onto the next topic in my mind.

      February 10, 2011
      Reply
  4. MrSOMagical said:

    Hope you feel better J…as for the other part…dont remind me.

    February 10, 2011
    Reply

Play nice, stay on topic, and for the love of God: NO SPAM IN THE FOXHOLE!