i listened to ^that album all day yesterday.
i never heard it before,
but the “amazing grace” track is a beautiful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gy9Xnwyhcc0
gospel music can really make things better.
yesterday wasn’t a good day.
i felt i needed a break.
there was a lot going on inside me.
i did realize something tho…
i will never go into anything without protective mode on again
every one of us,
from foxes to wolves,
have a protective mode.
we wouldn’t survive in the forests without it.
too many times,
i went into jobs optimistic and “bright eyed; bushy tailed”.
i knew there was “red flags”,
but i figured keep my head down and suck it up.
all the signs where there,
but i refused to leave it alone out of “lack”.
lack creates fear.
fear makes you see the worse in everything.
so now,
i’ll go into things asking myself:
who
(ex: who will i be working for?)
what
(ex: what will my pay be?)
when
(ex: when can i expect an answer when issues arise?)
where
(ex: where can see reviews on the company?)
why
(ex: why is everyone giving it bad ratings?)
how
(ex: how can we both agree for this to be a great working environment?)
the whites do it all the time.
karaoke and the pretty vixen do it as well.
nothing wrong with making sure you’re good.
the “put your head down and suck it up” life is over.
that goes for:
jobs
friendships
relationships
why stay in something that is driving you crazy?
it never gets better once you are far down the forest.
so instead of wasting time,
i make sure i always address the situation,
once i see it’s not working then i’m out.
i’ll be happy to interview my replacement.
there is no reason i put up with half the shit i did.
learning lessons tho.
we can’t grow without them.
just a quick update.
i missed you guys,
but sometimes i need a minute to get my shit together.
i did over my budget with the funds i was given also.
i’ll be aight until unemployment rolls in.
I commend you for asking more of yourself when prospects are presented to you and when things start to go awry. Like you, I mostly bite the bullet, until the bottom falls out, but now I realize if I don’t take the necessary precautions for myself, then I would be the only one to blame in the end.
^yup!!!!!
I’m glad you’re keeping your head up, and Legend Aretha’s voice always help during trying times.
^it does!
i got some others listening to it as well.
they are blown away how good this album is.
i’m very relaxed right now.
no need to crawl in a hole and die.
Hey J dont beat yourself up too bad about being passive and optimistic on these jobs. I think as gay men we are condition to tone our real self down on jobs unless we are working in a stereotypical field like a hairdresser where being sassy and outspoken is expected. You just need to be Kool until you get the gig and on the next one start out with an attitude of I am not the one for BS, you have to check people right at the start, I have learned that the hard way after being real nice and then coming out of the bag on somebody when I get pushed. You sure have to put the fear in Snow peoples heart because they are a treacherous, lying cut throat bunch who will stop at nothing to get what they want, I let them know that they dont mean shit to me and I am not the smiling cooning Negro that they like. Most of them are mediocre at best and just down right dumb when you really get to know them. Our current leader proves that.
Now on to Goddess Aretha. Cant believe that you never heard this album. The greatest record of all time. I heard this album as a child and have been an Aretha Stan every since as some of you can tell about how I quote some of her lyrics LoL. This album has got me thru many a hard time especially the song “Mary Dont You Weep” anytime I miss a loved one, I play this song. Aretha voice was out of this world on this album, she was at the top of her game and this album has stood the test of time. It’s older than many of us who enjoy it, from your grandmother to teens today, this album is a must have. I hope Queen Aretha will sign off so that the movie of this great masterpiece will see the light of day.
P.S. Is your PayPal still active? I hope all your brothers and sisters at the Foxhole will show you a little love during this rough patch.
^you are absolutely right t.
i got played with this last gig.
between both,
i’ve learned some valuable lessons.
i had a mini breakdown yesterday,
but i needed to realize i hit rock bottom.
i can say i’m in a semi dark place,
but i see the light above the clouds too.
this album is going to be my go to.
i’m actually listening to it now.
i’ve been getting into aretha’s music lately.
she has a “this is: aretha franklin” playlist and that’s where i started this journey.
the paypal is: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=QdA2d3ZwSsQ6LBdyKJmSvvGuGzBmhFjkGmp7Fft1AD9cxEto5e0SitZYEW8S1NVak4vk_G