I Left, But She Is Still Being Abused

i knew that going back to my old forest would be good for me.
well,
 it might be bad for one thing.
shopping.
there are so many stores over there.
i needed new work clothes and i bought some.
174 dollars worth of “some”.
i know.
i know.
i’m right next to the cologne spot so that’s next.

since i was in my old work forest,
i ended up meeting up with one of my old co workers.
one who is still at my old company,
after all these years…

when she saw me,
she screamed.
everyone looked.
if i was white,
i’d be red.
she looked the same.
good black definitely don’t crack.
she told me how good i looked and how i have “glo’d up”.
i last saw her like that was like 9+ years ago.
when i first got there,
i was a “young jamari fox”.
bright eyed and indeed bushy tailed.
i was very determined to learn the corporate trenches.
it was like my first legit corporate job in fashion.
i am not that fox anymore.

she is still there tho.
as we talked,
she couldn’t stop stressing how unhappy she was.
she even told me how she was struggling.
i could see the sadness in her eyes as i listened to her rants.
i wanted to tell her she is too good for that job.
she is.
her singing career was her first priority,
but she put it to the side due to cubs and no time to audition.

I knew the feeling

it’s not easy to leave a job,
as much as it’s hard to find one when you are without.
it made me think about overstaying your welcome in a toxic situation.
everyone thinks its so easy to just leave,
but more often than not,
you get comfortable in the bullshit.
i’ve been there.
a few times.
if i didn’t get fired from both of those toxic jobs,
there would be no “this”.
i would have been stuck at the job,
still complaining,
dealing with my old boss,
and all the other bs that came with it.
it felt normal putting up with the bullshit because i was “getting paid”.

FUCK THAT

“wisdom is better than silver and gold.”
i’ve learned it doesn’t get any better the longer you stay.
no matter the situation,
it will continue to get worst.
simple as that.

lowkey: just like it’s hard to leave abusive relationships,
it’s hard to leave abusive jobs.
until you have completely had enough and just leave,
your comfort level will continue to play tricks on your mind.

3 Comments

  1. Eric said:

    First I want to say I’m so happy you got a job and you seem so happy I can feel it in your writing…… but I needed to read this post. I have been at my toxic dead end job for the last few years and I feel like I’m so trapped there. I love the analogy of it being an abusive relationship, I never looked at it like that. I got so comfortable there and change is hard, but needed sometimes to grow and be happy. I have to get out of it sooner than later, because the stress is really making me sick.

    August 8, 2017
    Reply
    • Jamari Fox said:

      ^thanks e!

      im glad this entry helped you see what you really deserve!

      August 8, 2017
      Reply
  2. myolox said:

    Certain jobs have expiration dates and when you no long have an interest or a new organization change the script, its time to bounce. My older sibling working in retail as an assistant manager is now going through the same fiasco your going through and I though what a coincidence. My sis has been there for 25yrs + with stagnate pay for the pass 5yrs, no transfer because of a write up and now she just told me, she has 30 day to shape up because management think they know it all and is fucking up with security, and merchandise, yet my sis could do no wrong on her clock. Luckily she already has something lined up in Atlanta and is ready to accept the fate of her loyalty. I told her, she should move around and not get to complacent by pigeonholing your self.

    August 8, 2017
    Reply

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