…the porcelain god that is.
okay so this entry is going to be a little personal.
kinda tmi with a few “nofuckstogive”.
there is a message in it somewhere.
don’t judge me…
so i have been feeling a little backed up.
i haven’t been exactly…
my eating habits have been kinda jacked as well.
it was a super quiet day at work,
and liar liar was not there,
all of us were hanging out in the mailroom.
we were all joking around and talkin’ shit,
one of the wolves started talking about how his daughter was constipated the other day.
i gave her a little citroma and she was shittin all damn day.
blew the toilet down.”
“wait what is citroma?” i asked.
“its a laxative.
you can get it at the bodega or store.
its like 2.00 or so.”
“citroma is no joke.
had me cancelling my entire weekend one time.
i was scared i was going to use the bathroom in public.” thing 2 chimed in.
mental note: get citroma before i got home.
since it was summer half day fridays,
i left promptly at 1 o’clock and headed to get this citroma.
i went to the little hood pharmacy down the block from my crib.
there it was,
looking up at me in the “stomach issues” aisle:
the original name for it is “magnesium citrate” and its usually clear.
ive heard of magnesium citrate but never tried it.
so i got in the crib,
ate some “cinnamon toast crunch”,
and kinda just lounged around.
i’m exhausted and this 3 day holiday weekend feels like a vacation.
i finally took the whole glass bottle of citroma at like 10pm.
it tasted like cherry soda and sprite,
but turnt all the way up.
it kind of had a sour-y kind of taste.
i couldn’t even get through the whole glass,
but when it hit my stomach,
i felt that slight “turn”.
you know the slight turn i’m talking about.
the turn of a “shit storm a’ coming”.
oh and it did.
my eyes opened up so wide.
i ran my ass to the toilet.
lets just say…
i am floating now.
i am completely emptied out.
my offering to the porcelain god was bountiful.
i would say if you feel backed up,
do this once a month.
this is not something id do before a wolf comes over.
this isn’t like an enema where it works quicker.
this actually travels through your bowels,
sets up shop,
and sets a time bomb in your intestines.
did they give that hippo a citroma too?
also you def need to block out a good couple hours out your schedule.
you need some time for it to process your offering.
so like me,
i took it at 10pm and it started working at 4am.
aftershocks throughout the morning that ended at 11-1130ish.
if you want to do it before a wolf comes over,
i’d say do it the day or two before you trying to get some pipe.
that way you are completely hollow beforehand.
no need in being that hippo after a few deep thrusts.
don’t act like you don’t worry about that too.