f0xmail: To Move Or Not To Move (That Is The Question?)

tumblr_ln4x74s0gK1qlxlnfo1_500FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari! I love your site and I am just getting out of a 7 year relationship. I never thought I would be single at the age of 26. Anyway I am looking to move away from my current state and I was thinking of just moving to Houston Texas. I am not being taken seriously because I am not in the state.

Do you think I should move to that state without my job or wait?

MY ANSWER…

thank you for the love!

you know i appreciate it and extremely grateful you check me out!

secondly,
congrats!!!!!!

1377562052568yeah i said “congrats”.
even though it’s over,
congrats on being in a relationship for 7 years.
not only is that a major blessing,but that also shows an exception to the rule within this life we all live in.
you know some of these folks date for like a week.

now the part in the email that stuck out to me was what i highlighted.
you may not be taken seriously in your old forest,
but how do you know you’ll be taken seriously in the new one?
i thought i would be taken serious in florida,
but i quickly realized otherwise.
besides karaoke,
it was actually real boring.
new yawk city life is all i know.
when i came back and got this job,
things opened up for me and life started taking me seriously again.
who knows what would have happened if i stayed down there.
it wasn’t like the job market was any better.

536e3d7d8ba9e…and speaking of that,
WAIT.
never leave your old forest without a job.
the economy is DEF not promised to anyone right now.
you don’t want to bounce,
be stuck,
and also be broke in the process.
then you have to pack up and come back with your tail between your legs.
never a good look.

reader.
i want you to really figure out why you are leaving your forest.
is it to start anew and reinvent?
be on your own?
or is it to get away with hopes of meeting someone new?
no offense,
but i feel you maybe unprepared for this move.
i could be wrong tho.
remember that once you leave,
you should never have any reason to go back.
well unless it’s to visit.
make sure you have it all together before you bounce.
again:

new forest
+
life not taking you seriously

+
broke
=
giphyhope this helps!

love,
jamari fox

21 Comments

  1. Lindo said:

    If you’re from NY don’t move unless it NJ or CT because it will be the biggest mistake ever. It so funny how every New Yawkers I know who move out of NY, including myself, complain how boring other states are and then regret it. Now trying to move back. New York for life I guess.

    June 5, 2014
    Reply
    • Kareem Hicks said:

      I am in NJ and it is just so high for no reason.

      June 5, 2014
      Reply
      • Lindo said:

        I’m not a New Jersey guy so I don’t know how you will be used to TX, but I strongly advise you to first visit TX and stay for a month or 2 to really get the vibe of TX, because listen I moved to Maine too quick because I got seduced by its scenery and now I regret it with all of my heart. Then I started to look back at my life in NY and realize “Oh shit I had a good life.” Not a luxurious life, but my life was way better even 10x better than those who are rich. Don’t move too quick, first experience the life there because remember vacation is way different from living there.

        June 5, 2014
      • Kareem Hicks said:

        Thank you Jamari! The only reason we broke up is because I wanted to get marry and he didn’t want too. I felt after 7 years I am not going no where and neither are you. I told him after 5 years I wanted to get marry and I let him slide with the two extra years, but now it is time for me to move forward.

        June 5, 2014
    • Kareem Hicks said:

      You are right about that and I am visiting again, but apart of me feel like this place is constant reminder of him. I need to go and I need to get away and not be reminded that I made the regret of leaving him. I need to start over. I always wanted to move away and he did not want too. I turned down jobs because of him and I sacrifice my own happiness for him. It is time for me to spread my wings and just do me. Kareem is declaring his independence.

      June 5, 2014
      Reply
      • Jamari Fox said:

        ^then it is time for you to go.
        start investigating the areas you want to live,
        start putting this move in your vibration,
        and life will start to unlock the path on the way out.
        i tried to put florida in my “vibration” so to speak,
        and life led me right back to ny.
        so i say start your plan and “do it”.
        best of luck love!

        June 5, 2014
  2. JajR said:

    Very informative. Like the reader, I also just got out a lengthy relationship and have been contemplating on moving, with no new job in tow. Thanks for that.

    June 5, 2014
    Reply
    • Kareem Hicks said:

      It is just time for a change and it is time for us to be bold and just take the chance of finding ourselves.

      June 5, 2014
      Reply
  3. Kareem Hicks said:

    Wow Jamari! I was the one who wrote that. I thought you would never see my entry let alone answer me for that I am grateful. I just need a change and New Jersey is so small to me. I do not want to move to New York and Pennsylvania forget it. I wanted to move to Georgia or Florida, but that is out of the question. I figure Texas was the next best option. I visit Houston and I love it there. I just want change. I want to get away and quite honestly I do not want to see my ex anymore. That is the real truth and being here is a constant reminder of him.

    June 5, 2014
    Reply
  4. ICeeDedPpl said:

    I think you should go. Cannot afford to wait. You are on borrowed time.

    If you are running away from something it will meet you there, if not get started on your future.

    No one is ever prepared for big life changes. You can do everything right and life will still throw you a curve ball.

    Be smart, but don’t be afraid.

    It’s always gonna be a bad economy to somebody, yet millions of people daily are making moves for the better. You can too.

    So you’ll struggle for a little while. Can’t have a testimony without a test (or some testes! but I’m sleep).

    Do it!

    June 5, 2014
    Reply
  5. Kareem Hicks said:

    Thank you! I have my bachelors and no loans! I have nothing holding me back now. I am single and no kids. I think I can make it out there. I have a nice savings and I want to start anew.

    June 5, 2014
    Reply
  6. JAY said:

    Depends on why you’re really trying to move here.

    If you’re moving here to meet men…DON’T. You’ll be in for a rude awakening!

    Hell, Houston isn’t even what it used to be in the hoe shit department, but I digress.

    Depending on your career it may be a good idea though.

    June 5, 2014
    Reply
    • Kareem Hicks said:

      Men are the furthest thing from my mind. I just got out of a seven year relationship and men are slowly turning me off everyday because they do not know what they want. I am looking for a different scenery and a career change.

      June 5, 2014
      Reply
      • JAY said:

        What career field you looking to get into?

        June 5, 2014
    • kahicks630 said:

      I work as a case manager but case manager in Texas require you to have your masters

      June 6, 2014
      Reply
      • JAY said:

        Not all of them require masters degrees. I’m kind of in the same field.

        If you’re open to juvenile, probation, psychiatric fields it probably won’t be hard to find a job then.

        June 6, 2014
  7. Zen Buddha said:

    I don’t know what advice to give you but like J said Congrats! on completing a milestone in the gay community. 7years! I never thought that was possible without it being an open relationship. Unless y’all were then I take that back… No shade.

    June 6, 2014
    Reply
    • The Man said:

      A relationship can last for seven years, straight or gay. The relationship did not have to be open. Open relationships would be the relationships that would not last due to jealousy, and one of the partners not wanting to share. .

      June 6, 2014
      Reply
  8. Ricky Bobby said:

    7 year open relationship is not the business sorry.

    June 6, 2014
    Reply
  9. The Man said:

    There is nothing wrong with a fresh start, as long as you are not running from anything. However, I believe you should find a job first. The economy is no joke man. Texas is a huge state, and you are planning to move to Houston, which is a highly populated place.

    June 6, 2014
    Reply
  10. Kareem Hicks said:

    I did not have an open relationship even though the individual wanted one. I was against it the whole time. I would not even do threesome because I felt that would put us in an awkward situation as well.

    June 6, 2014
    Reply

Play nice, stay on topic, and for the love of God: NO SPAM IN THE FOXHOLE!