i been thinking that if everything that has happened these last 3 years,
even if i thought it was so negative,
was actually part of God’s plan?

this time last year of june 2025,
in about a month,
i was gonna come where i am now for a BBQ.
i didn’t want to come but something urged me to go.
when i left here that night to go back to new yawk,
i have on video telling my friend i was gonna live here.

“i don’t know how,
but i’m going to live here.”

and even though this transition wasn’t ‘a walk in the park…

“jamari…
i know you are upset but you have got to stop letting this take over your emotions.
i’m gonna help you turn this all around…”

that was someone i’ve met here that i word-vomitted to.
they could tell i was up to my wits end with it all.
so they said in font earlier today…

there are some attentionistos that once they get bent for gay for pay,
or they did the bended,
they enter the point of no return.
you can’t turn back once you go through that tunnel…

…but personally,
i think something shifts in males once someone goes through their tunnel.

while some get traumatized for life because they didn’t realize what cums with it,
there are many whose love the feeling of what happened to their g-spots and go nuts.
males can make some good money for a few hours of sex work.
sometimes they get flown out for a weekend,
a week,
or it’s a night at a local hotel.

a good john will advise them on how to clean themselves,
what they are paying for,
and sometimes the logistics of what’s in the NDA.

i believe if you are selling your bawdy,
you should be thinking of two things…

karen from “mean girls” did that.
i fully believed her crazy.

i’ve been wanting to watch the housemaid since it came out.
i got invited to the screening last november,
but i couldn’t make it due to reasons beyond my control.
i was devastated i couldn’t attend that day,
but i wasn’t supposed to see it until now.

well,
last night.

as i was watching it,
two things crossed my mind.
one:

Brandon Sklenar is fine AF.

i was fully distracted by the smile,
the biceps,
the tank tops,
and how i’d let that 6’2 white wolf palm my cheeks like a basketball.

but then there was the second thought…

i believe in visualization in manifesting heavy.
meaning,
you should always visualize the life that you desire.
like,
you gotta visualize it that you can feel it.
that also includes the menz we desire as well.
for me,
it’s not so much saying it and affirming 24/7:

seeing it
imagining it
moving on from it

why do you think people’s past tweets before success became a reality?
this was ariana in 2011:

high-key: “7 rings” is a peak manifestation song.

i truly believe they “set it and forget it“.
it’s not crossing the line of obsession,
but dancing around at the line of delulu.
i’ve been wondering tho:

what if you used AI to create a version of yourself where you are living your best life?

a Foxholer sent me a IG of an insta-gay AI couple,
@jaydenandsean:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jayden & Sean (@jaydenandsean)

this vision came from someone i’m sure wanting “this“.
acting(?) vixen,
skai jackson,
has been making AI creations of herself,
her fantasy manz,
and the life she desires on snapchat…

this movie was a trip.
Foxhole,
watch it now on HULU.
NOW.

we have to be careful what we wish for.
i’ve learned that many times tbh.
i’ve done it with wolves,
people,
and tbh,
transitioning to this place i’m staying at now.

it isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.
even though it drains TF outta you,
it either isn’t meant for you or meant to challenge you for better.

the pay off is you gain skills that the “easy mode” path didn’t.
i felt that way watching the 2023 movie,
“what you wish for“…