f0xmail: How Can I Find A Baller Wolf To Sponsor Me? Help!

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I read your blog all the time and like a lot of people I find myself drooling over these guys swimming in dough. My question to you is how would I find one.. I don’t live in a state where any reside. I’m not ugly at all but I don’t have a lot of money. I have goals, dreams that I want to accomplish and I hear about ballers splurging these conceited vain hoes in material things when all I want is more education and to pay off my debt which isn’t much. Enough rambling, my question to you is one that you probably have gotten a lot: How would I find a baller or do you know of any that are looking for someone? Any help or advice would be appreciated.  I’m going through a hard time in life, a very hard time and I’m trying.

MY ANSWER…

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f0xmail: He Met His New Bitch After I Gave Him Good Wood! Help!

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A good topic for foxmail.
So Jamari, I have this homie that just got into a little situation.
I met this dude on A4A about a year ago. We flirted heavy and when we finally met he literally made my mouth drop he was so attractive. 6′ 200lbs bald head, neat beard, swole body and swole ass too. We actually sat down ate, talked about everything and saw a movie.
Long story short, after the movies, his ass was dessert and he sucked my dick took a nap on my chest and woke up and sucked my dick so more. Now usually I can deal with no strings attached sex, but something was just so different and genuine about him. I held this dude’s hand and I’m not the sentimental type at all. I got the feeling it was more for him too, being that he wanted me to stay and he kissed and hugged me before I left that night.
No contact for two weeks! I can’t lie I was completely depressed about it.
He finally hits me out of the blue and basically acts as if that whole night never happened. I don’t know why, but I just went along with it despite the fact my feelings were really hurt to the core. Eventually I just bury the feelings and try to be friends. We work out together a lot and he’s been a pretty good friend. I have also gone out of my way to be a good friend to him as well.
So fast forward to today and he’s began this relationship with this new dude and I know I should be happy for him but I’m not.
He’s talking about how he’s finally having sex again and this dude is taking him on dates and now they’re working out together.
In the past, despite what was going on in my own personal life, I could always be happy and supportive for friends.
I really don’t like the person that’s feeling like this. I don’t know if I’m still pissed he completely ignored our first experience together, or jealous that he’s found someone, or sad that I’ve always been alone, or worried I’ll always be alone, or just a combination of everything.
I just hate thinking “I hope it won’t last.” or “He’s greek. He’s probably fucking a multitude of dudes and you’re the flavor of the moment. Don’t get too excited.”
 I just feel like I always fall into this role of being the odd man out. The “friend”. I usually resort to unhealthy and risky behaviors to deal.
I know I sound salty as fuck, but it’s making me re-evaluate some shit man.
All these nigga’s phone numbers I have in my phone, freaks, homies, friends and no one to check on me since I’ve been secluding to my room with this flu all week. NO ONE!
Then to add insult to injury this dude is introducing his new bitch to his other friends. I been cool with this dude for over a year and I’ve met no one but you known this dude one month and you’re introducing him to your friends at happy hour.
Am I just fighting my true nature by forcing these sorry excuses for friendships? 
Am I completely fucked up bruh?

MY ANSWER…

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f0xmail: I Think This Jailbird Wolf Wants My Bunz. Help!

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Hey Jamari…

I’m having a lil dilemma reading this past prison wolf Im employed with. When I first met him 2 months ago I noticed the natural attraction I have for him. He’s dark skin, about 45, 6’3, permanent gold fronts and hella cool. He’s a daddy type, a SEXXXY daddy type. So everyday we come in to work he sees me, makes his way over and starts up a convo. Every convo ends the same; on sex. He talks about how he be fucking women, how big. His dick is, his stroke game, alotta mature real black man shit. It’s so sexy to me, but anywho I’m a very attractive male with a nice physique. I’m masc and I have a big round butt that alotta guys require. No one here knows I’m gay except him. He can tell for some reason but I can’t tell about him. He’s always talking about sex as people he’s gonna fuck, I just need some help. If he is down, how do I proceed. how would I know if he isn’t? I just don’t wanna be rejected I mean I have before but not by someone I’m naturally attracted too and yes Jamari he can tell from my smiles and the way I respond back, I even brought him lunch yesterday and I don’t know what to say. I think he wants to fuck me and I would love to let him on the regular.

Plz give me some of that infinite knowledge and wisdom.

MY ANSWER
(viewer discretion strongly advised)

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f0xmail: The Issue of My “crushlovelustwhateveryouwannacallit”!

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Jamari!

Let me start off by saying that 99.9% of the time, your posts are DEAD ON dude & I love every single one of them. You keep me coming back, each and every time! Keep it up homie. Now, on to a dude’s dilemma:

There’s this guy I’ve basically gone in & out of “crushlovelustwhateveryouwannacallit” with for the past 4 years. We were co-workers for three of those four years and nothing happened between us except for MY EX-BEST (girl) FRIEND ALMOST SLEEPING WITH HIM. (Yes, it affected our relationship that deep.)

From the aforementioned statement, you can tell he’s basically “straight”. But there was ALWAYS something there between us. Tension? Curiosity? IDK. He took me to the movies a few times (mind you, he only wanted him & I to go… mmmmhmmmm…), but nothing more than that. After him leaving my workplace last year, he got a new job in the same town. I see him all the time & I’m not sure what I feel. He gives me these high-school ass feelings, but I swore I was over this nigga. LIKE, WHAAA?! I tend to give him a sliiiiiight cold shoulder here & there just to prove to myself that I’m over him. (Dunno if it’s doing harm or good.) Everyone that I talk to about him tells me not to feel the way I feel because they think he’s “douche-ish” and that I can do WAY better, but I’m torn as a motherfucker! I still find him intriguing…

You like who you like sometimes, fuck what others think, right? (J, tell me I’m right. LMAO.) He still wants us to smoke a blunt together & shit, but I’m hesitant! I curve him on purpose! LOL. He can be fleeing sometimes (i.e. seem uninterested, returns texts hours later, etc.) and I know that has something to do with why I be on that #SWIRVlife. LOL. I’m part of your gold digger era, so I’m completely invested in my self-worth, and that goes hand in hand with my dating life. I know what I offer. I’m not easy. I value me, and I feel like my polarity to the issue is due to me considering my value before anything. I wanna stay true to me but don’t wanna be judgmental to this just because of the opinions of others, you know?

Tell me J, do I go on and try to make something work with the dude?

Or do I continue to wait for someone “worth my time”?

(P.S., Feel free to share this with the Foxhole if you’d like. I have no secrets. LMAO. Hey, maybe someone else feels the way I’m feeling…)

MY ANSWER…
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f0xmail: Thank You/Testimony Letter

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Let me start by saying this is Malcolm, I’ve been a faithful follower of your blog for quite some time. I want to just say to you that your blog gives more than just eye candy..It gives the readers, which is a body of various men from different walks a life, a connection in regards to what we have all experienced in this lifestyle. It gives us instruction of how to respond and carry ourselves when dealing with the bullshit that this lifestyle often brings and lastly HOPE that one day all of those things will lead to the man of our dreams…
I don’t know if this is really an advice FOXMAIL or just me giving a testimony but here goes:

2014 has been a emotionally exhausting year in a sense. I had just moved back to Philadelphia in January, after being away for 5yrs (attending college, living and just trying to progress thru life) so when i came back i figured since i just graduated from college in December and i was back home I was about to TURN UP and big things was a ‘gwon down’ buddy like my foreign relatives would always way LOL…BUT it was the exact opposite…I was accepted into this competitive forensic science program but didn’t have enough aid to fund it being that i didn’t get my STEM scholarship so i couldn’t go. JOBS kept telling me i either didn’t qualify or ‘over-qualified’. i had to live with someone for the first time in five years, and being on your own for such a long time then having to stay with someone is a BIG adjustment…ESPECIALLY when the person just ‘tolerates’ your lifestyle…they know, and so do you, that they abhor the way you live and think.

After being sexually abstinent for almost 7 months i had grown lonely and wanted some attention…so i did my casual perusing online and found a guy. He was 5’10, dark skin, nice physique and his dick game was beautiful…YES i said BEAUTIFUL!!! LOL  he would pick me up in his car and take me over to his house faithfully. Our little affair happened for quite some time..until one night i was sleep and my phone was vibrating like crazy. i’d received a  few random text messages. one that read” who the fuck is this number in my mans phone i seen this number in his call log” so i replied “you have the wrong number’ and she responded with his name and everything. Saying that they lived together and had children so i knew she wasn’t lying. She thought i was a female, and i played it off. I just don’t and won’t EVER out a man just because I’m out doesn’t mean my man has to be. However, when i tried to cut him off he became angry. He began texting me saying that he needed his fix, that he wasn’t going to stop talking to me and began acting stalkerish, then after him i began dealing with another guy, who turned out to be a drug dealer who also became very demanding. i became scared and flustered at the same damn time and i felt like the weight of everything was beginning to overwhelm me. After dealing with that and the frustrations of everything..i called my mother, she and i are very close and i share with her pretty much everything about my life..after hearing what i went thru she said baby come see me for awhile you need a break…i changed my number,relocated to stay with her for awhile as i planned my next move and etc..it was nice to get out of the city…and at first i was worried that i would never bounce back again. Upset that someone as hard working as i have was in dire need. out of boredom and curiosity, I tried the relationship thing again here. i met a guy who i told you about in that one entry who was a soldier, with two children he said wanted a relationship and that he was out with his sexuality. He’s about 5’8 with locs to his shoulders, dark skin and has the most dazzling smile. He would hold hands with me and kiss my hand when we would sit and talk. We dated for two and a half months before having sex, and i felt he was the one. I even mentioned to my mom about him, yet he eventually came forward and said that his family DIDN’T know about him and that he still wanted to see me, but i felt in regards to his actions and how he was growing even more distant, that he had someone else or that it wouldn’t go any further…so fast forward to now my little hiatus paid off..I’ve been given a salary position that starts in November  back home. I’m about to start classes again in January at my dream school and to top it off my mothers job has a special program that allows employees and/or spouses/ children of employees to attend with a 40% tuition discount allowing me to attend ..so it’s like i finally got my head on straight again…
i just wanted to THANK YOU!!!! all of your journal entries just kept me going…and the wisdom from other loyal readers of your blogsite: THE MAN ( i swear that brotha is prolific in mind and doesn’t even know it and the fact that he’s only 21 blows me away), Zen Buddha, Lindo, and etc. I just want to say to you all that NO MATTER how dark it may seem at times, LIGHT will always PREVAIL..GOD BLESS..KEEP LIVING and KEEP fighting in your pursuit of LOVE, LIFE and HAPPINESS!!!!!

MY ANSWER…

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f0xmail: I Paid For His Lunch. Should I Ask For My Money Back?

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Okay J…
First off, gotta say thanks for your site. You have no idea what it means to see someone existing and conquering that’s kinfolk.
I’m writing because I want your opinion on what I should do in the midst of an awkward office situation.
I work in an office where I’m one of four black people. I also happen to be the lowest on the salary ladder – entry level.
The other colored folk are senior staff pulling in well over six figures.
Recently, one of the [black] senior staff came by my desk and began making small talk about my college because I keep a small alumni banner in my area. #HBCUsStandUp
He tells me there’s a young man at his church who goes to my alma mater home from college for some random family reason, and goes on to say that he would love for all of us to do lunch.
So, his secretary sets it up and we meet a week later at a somewhat swanky restaurant I’d never been to across the street from our office.
After arriving late, he sits down, makes small talk, and casually mentions he left his wallet at home, could I cover it?
Not wanting to look a certain way in front of my young college brother, I casually nod yes meanwhile my mind is racing and my heart has stopped several times.

I budget my money down to the cent, literally. After paying my bills, (motherFUCK SallieMae) and pledging to not help family anymore and then helping family anyway, I am left with just enough to make it for the month, and sometimes not even that if a pair of shoes catches my eye.
I wound up putting the meal – $100 – on my credit card.
Now, the question is do I even approach him about repayment at all…
I feel like he set up the meeting and knew what this was gonna be. Sure, many men forget their wallets, but he knew he still had this meeting so why not cancel or postpone???
But then again, he’s a powerful man with many a connection and I don’t want him to pitch a bitch and hold a grudge if I ask for that money back … but clearly he knows I don’t do $100 lunches for 3 on me often, hell, at all, right?
But Lord,  that’s 10 edge-ups or 2 tanks of gas or a whole ass pair of nice shoes (2 if you know how to shop) …

Should I take an “L” on this one (in the name of networking – can’t front, I def benefited from having the opportunity to chat with him)?

MY ANSWER…

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f0xmail: The Married Wolf Who Wants The Bunz, Hunz.

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Ok, as I continue to wait for “The One” to show up in my life. I meet a guy that’s just my type of man. I will call him Daddy Cub. After a few texts we finally meet face to face. As a single Scorpion brother, I seek for a relationship. I found out he’s married and all he want is a f-buddy….I shouldn’t involve myself with a married man but is it a waste of ambition on what I want because a married man will not go as far as the relationship he already has and on the side activity would be recreational…

MY ANSWER…

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f0xmail: I’m Trapped In New Yawk. Help!

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Hey Jamari, I first off want to say I looooooove your blog! its super inspirational and very realistic. Your blog gets me through a lot and I thank you so much for staying strong through time times. Your part of the reason why I look at life differently (in a positive way). I will definitely follow you on any adventure in life you decide to endure on. Now what I wanted to know is…

Why the concrete jungle?
why not another state?
Meet new people, new environment, wolves, etc.

The reason I’m asking is because I am a born and raised NY native. I feel I need a change. I left my job because I didn’t have a passion for it and I was very well ok I have a job no need to look for another. Im 25 and why people think I should be in Fashion I don’t see myself styling or designing anything lol and its a very competitive business as well as one of the most sought out careers nowadays.  I would do fashion but the business part of it. At times I just feel down on where to start and then theres my social life Lol. What bae? and What friends? lol I know people from all over come to NY for a fresh start, am I not realizing the “Greats” in this city? I am a big believer in “Not leaving something great to find better but end up with worst”.

Any advice for a standstill fox? loll

MY ANSWER…

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f0xmail: I Think My Mama Boyfriend Likes To Watch Gay Porn. Help!

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Hi Jamari

I’m 17 years old and oldest  of three children. I’ve got this big problem. And as much as I really wish this was about my own issues it’s not and I need  to figure out how  to go about so he go…

Ok so the last of July my mom’s boyfriend came and ask to see if he could borrow my phone so I let him he had it for like no longer than 30min. When I got my phone back I checked the app that he had used. He made a couple of phone calls and was on the internet. He also had a video app open and there was some BBW porn on, but I  didn’t pay any mind to it. However he came back and asked to borrow it again for  like another 10-15min. and when i received it back this time there was gay porn on the app (this is not the first time I saw this). When I found out that I went to go confront him about it and he claimed I was “making him
feel uncomfortable” so I left there room. Keep in mind that my mom is at church gettin’ her praise on and straight after that she was coming home to change her clothes so that she can go to the doctor because her throat was bothering her
So once she left out again this pineapple would not leave me alone. calling me out  of my room to play cards so that we could “talk,” or coming into my  room and basically hover over me. He even asked to see
my phone again where he showed me the website that he got it from (which he already had claimed that it just popped out of nowhere) even asking me not to tell because he has seen in my history that I watch gay porn too. After that he hasn’t been the same since. (acting super nice, like nothing  happened)

Now Jamari I don’t really  know the dynamic of he and my mother’s relationship, all I know is that he is the lying, manipulative, and super clingy ex boyfriend, that we had so many problems with, and that when they broke up we had to move out the house we were living in and move in  my grandma and all of  the pineapples that were staying there. I feel like maybe she’s being seedy and using him for money but then again she might be stupid and chose to try one more  time with him all I know is that I don’t really like him.

So my question  is Jamari:

how should I go about telling her that I’m gay and also that her boy is too?

p.s. : I think he has mom issues.

MY ANSWER…

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