f0xmail: Kellon Deryck, Amiyah Scott… and Steven Beck?

Screen Shot 2015-08-31 at 8.27.49 PMwell today is steven beck’s birthday.
“happy birthday steven!”
i got a f0xmail this morning about steven and i couldn’t wait to post it.
as you know,
foxhole fav,
kellon deryck has gotten a boost in popularity.
he needs to thank amiyah scott for putting him further on the map.
he has been the talk of many forests.
well it seems steven beck may also be involved in this scheme as well.
this is what was shoved into my box
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f0xmail: I Want Him, But The Way Those “Mixed Signals” Are Set Up…



Whats up Jamari?? As you know I have been a loyal member of the foxhole since the beginning. I check the site daily and you have definitely helped me through some situations. I’m kinda going through a situation with a guy and I just want your insight.

So I met this guy a few weeks ago and immediately felt something that I haven’t felt for anyone before. I really like him and he says he likes me too but doesn’t show that much attention. I have been entertaining other guys and he got mad about it. He basically doesn’t trust me and said we could only be friends. I laid everything out and told him exactly how I felt about him but he didn’t respond. I deleted his # and our text history and was never going to talk to him again.

He hit me up 2 days later and we had a good convo but he is sending mixed signals. Idk if I should pursue him or just move on. He is the perfect guy…100% my type but I don’t wanna look thirsty or like a fool.

What should I do!?



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f0xmail: He Isn’t My “Ideal”, but I May Want Give Him My Virginity. Help!


Hey Jamari,
Been lurking in the foxhole for years – needless to say I enjoy everything I read.
Thank you for your authenticity and for your insight. Just by being you, you’re not only entertaining and informing folk, you’re helping folk.
Getting down to it, I need a third opinion on a situation I’m in.
Ok, so … we all have a thing right? My thing has always been height. I’m 26, 5’11, and am really only attracted to guys taller than me. Don’t know what it is but it’s always been that way. I feel like there’d be a thrill in topping a tall guy and I’ve always made the joke that I’d never let an itty bitty baby climb my back. I am equal opportunity however and have found myself attracted to (and talking to) dark, light, wide, narrow, masculine, feminine but the deal breaker has always been height. I’ve liked random athletes and celebrities and once I discovered they were shorter than me, it’s like a switch flipped. Instant turn-off.
Also, I’m like the last gay virgin. I have always wanted the first time to be with a dude I was in a relationship with. I have missed some good FINE piece but at least they were straight up and let me know they just wanted to fuck with no pretense. I don’t want the first time to be a random I get sprung over.
Fast forward to today. I recently made a friend in a colleague who I assumed was straight. After he left the company for a better position, we got closer and started hanging out. I’m not really flamboyant so after a couple months, he asked me if I was gay. I admitted I was and he admitted he was bi and that he only befriended me because he thought he could smash. Negative. He’s like 5’9. On top of that, I do not find him attractive at all. What’s the problem then? His energy, his aura … is sexy AF!!! Now that we know about each other, he’s always making comments and jokes about having me. I laugh it off but I think about it. He’s so confident it’s sexy. And sometimes I even find myself jacking off to the thought of him. But, I repeat, I don’t like him! It’s like I’m just super horny. He’s asked me if I would ever consider a relationship with him – we’ve had very candid convos – and I admitted I wouldn’t. Before that, I even got pissy drunk one night, got horny, and found my way over to his condo. He felt me up but he didn’t take advantage – said he wanted me to make that decision in my right mind.
Should I give him a chance? Shade is, I really wanna fuck and get fucked but I always I thought it’d be with a tall guy who I was actually attracted-attracted to. He really is good people tho. I just don’t want to feel like I am compromising what I want…or thought I’d have? Could it be he just happens to be present and showing me attention? My BFF thinks I’m being superficial and acting spoiled. My sis says I’m just worried that after holding out for so long, nothing else will come around.

what would you do?
what would y’all do?


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f0xmail: Everyone Thinks I’m Gay. Help!


What’s up Jamari!

I first just want to tell you how much I love your blog. Keep up the great work!

I am writing you because I need your advice and I value your opinion.

I am a 25 year old shy, very private gay black man. Within the past 2 years I came to terms with my sexuality personally. I’m not out as of yet, but assumptions have been made my entire life at least since I was like 7 or 8 ( that is the earliest I remember being called names, given weird looks, and being made fun of). I knew I was just different from my brothers. I didn’t know what it was at that young age but I felt and knew I was different. Everywhere I go my sexuality is always a topic of interest whether it’s a a job, school, amongst professors, friends, and people I don’t know. It annoys me b/c I am so much more than my sexuality. I am truly a great person.

I’ve always been asked where is my girlfriend and had people pick and pry into my private life which I hate! I am a private person. Other questions I’ve been asked were Do I like girls? Are you celibate? Do my roommate talk to girls? Why am I so quiet? (The person said I must be gay because never have anything to say LOL smh) Do I treat girls when I take them out to dinner? And that is just a few. Yeah ridiculous! But all of those questions come from those people who have made fun of me and etc.
 I call those questions test. Depending on how I answer the person asking the ? would make their assumptions about me.
A bunch of indirect ?s seeking a direct answer. ( direct answer meaning YES I am gay)

I don’t have anyone to confide in b/c I have trust issues. I truly believe there are more Curious people than Caring. Letting people in makes me vulnerable and scares me. They can take what I reveal and use it against me if they want.

 My relationship with my parents is cool but never had that close mother/son or father/son bond with them.  I don’t really have a close relationship with my siblings to the point where I would openly talk about my feelings and problems. We get along and I enjoy their company but we never have heart to hearts. I don’t trust them like that b/c a lot of my suffering started at home with them and if I piss them off they are quick to press my buttons especially the one I’m writing about now.

I have friend in California who I talk to on occasions. We have been cool for years. I remember him trying to hook me up several times with girls he know and girls we went to high school with but deep down I was not trying to talk to those chicks. I think he knows. We had a conversation one night about how he don’t understand the lifestyle but also don’t care if someone close to him was gay. (His sister is gay). I felt at that moment that what he was saying was directed towards me. I was too afraid to speak up to tell him.

Currently my other friend and I have been hanging out. He stays with his girlfriend who is cool as well. I thought about telling them too but my friend is religious and he and his girlfriend have spoken negatively about homosexuality. They are cool people but very closed minded.

I know once people start to find out or I guess once I confirm what others have been thinking all along a lot is going to change. Personally I don’t think I could be cool with folks who would talk bad about me the way my friends talk about other gay people either on TV or who we see in person.

At this point everything in my life has come to a standstill and the only thing that continues to come up is my sexuality or that’s the only thing that stands out b/c its fresh on my mind. Maybe it’s a sign? IDK

My question is,
What do you think I should do?


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f0xmail: For The Right Price, You Can Have Bambi and Thumper Too

3a8655ad5cfddd533e85556c9f91c6c9every time i write about these attentionistos,
i am always left disappointed with what gets revealed.
its usually how they manage to achieve all their insta-up keep.
its never really from working hard.
no good jobs here.
its always either from a good pounding or giving one.
it all depends on how much “work” they put in.
well i got this f0xmail about “bambi” and thumper”.
you know bambi and thumper well.
i’ve posted about them before.
one of the foxholers got to experience them both and well…
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f0xmail: I Have A “Work Wolf” Situation Too! Help!


Hey Jamari,

I need some advice I know this wolf that I’m cool with that’s straight. He calls me his best friend/bro and he is also a ex co-worker of mine. Long story short I wanna if this wolf is gay or bi curious,DL, ect. He knows I’m gay and has no problem with me and my sexuality. He told me how he likes transgender model Sydney Starr and what not. I told him that she was a he and he is not phased by it.

(I heard of straight men that would mess with transgender women as long as they don’t have male parts)

When we text I say stuff to test him to see if he going to say “no homo” or “ayo” “pause”… Anything that may indicate that he is uncomfortable with what I said and he doesn’t. He goes with the flow and at times he sends me various emojis that the average  male wouldn’t send to another male.

Now he has a son and baby mom(that doesn’t mean anything now a days). And recently his female coworkers went to gay bar and he went along. I had a crush on him for the longest time and I like the back and forth.

How can I find out is he trying to play for the other team or not?

Should I leave it alone ?


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f0xmail: Should I Smash All the Married/Taken Wolves At My Gym? Help!?


Jamari I totally understand that you are a busy dude and you might not be able to respond or post my fox mail. First, I want to say I think work wolf is bi, I think if you give him enough time he is going to blow your back out. I think you already know what your getting yourself into that is why you have so many emotions about him, and you can’t help your feelings. I’m with you on whatever decision you decide with him, but I say go for it with him just continue to go at his pace, and maybe you should pretend like their is a dude that’s trying to get at you and see his response. So, when I wrote you earlier this year on how to talk to a wolf in the gym, you gave me some really great advice. Well heres the thing there is so much eye candy in the gym I go too, but there is a couple dudes who I really want. So one dude that eye fucked me for nearly a year and a half started speaking to me 3 weeks ago. So last week we had a short conversation and then towards the middle of the convo he says my girl, I was pissed but played it cool. The reason I am writing you is because I like masculine men especially with muscles lol but one thing I am finding out is that the ones I have talked to in the gym are all married or have girlfriends. I am discrete myself so going to a gay club or getting on gay sites is not my thing, so the gym is the only place I can meet men. When these dudes say my wife or my girl it does something to me, because they eye fuck or flirt with me then mention their wife or girl. It sends me to an array of emotions, and I just put them in my acquaintance list, and the result is me being lonely and sexless. There is this other fine dude that is always staring at me but in my head I know he is probably married with kids. So do you think I should pursue these men even if their with somebody, because me having morals and a conscious is not getting me any sex or a warm body to lay next to?


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f0xmail: Are All The Black Wolves In California “Color Struck Coons”? Help?!


hey Jamari,
I been lurking your blog for a while now. And I’m happy to be able to see other black gay men online that seem to be in to each other. Out here in Cali it’s so hard for a black man seeking another black men It seems like black men want nothing to do w/ each other out here (SF, Cali) and will look right past each other to chase down a white or Asian guy. I’m not judging anyone’s preference, but I believe there’s strong element of self-loathing when it comes to these brothas. I just finished my freshman year at SF State and it was a nightmare. I’m originally from the south and was looking to connect w/ other like-minded black gay men like myself but their heads are so far up any non-black man’s ass it’s pathetic. And what’s funny is I overhear conversations between these “brothas” and their friends about how white men won’t pay them any mind…they claim they’re being sexually discriminated against, but they’re doing the EXACT same thing to guys who share the same complexion and features as them. I dunno about other gay black men, but I LOVE other black men and find us incredibly sexy and charming. I’ve tried developing friendships w/ other black gays in SF/Castro area and they all look at me funny or roll their eyes when I try and engage them conversation. Even on a friendship tip, I’ve had these “brothas” tell me they prefer to “chill” w/ Asian or white guys in their inner circle. The self-hate among these men is so unnerving, it’s makes me utterly ashamed to be a black man out here. Because these men have absolutely no self-respect or pride in their own race. They will run up behind anything that looks lighter than them. Please tell me I’m not alone,
I feel like I’m all alone out here…


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f0xmail: I Think My Homeboy Wants to Smash Me. Help!?


Sup Jamari,

First, I really dig your blog man. You keep the content fresh, hot and relevant. But the purposr for my writing is about a great friend of mine which I consider to be like a brother to me.

Him and I are really close. We have an amazing friendship however over the last year or so there has been this different level of attraction and relationship going on between us.

Truth is I’m very curious about exploring sex with another guy and so I’ve been feeding that desire with porn. Just something about two niggas sexing that is hot to me. I’ve never engaged in it but I’m hella curious.

My friend has been saying and doing things that makes me think he’s curious too. He doesn’t know that I am. But he often talks to me about how big his ass is or references to how big his dick is. We talk about fucking our girls and about porn all the time and he mentions how big the dudes dicks are in the movie.

One night he came over and the room was hella tense. He kept staring at me while grabbing his dick but I would play it off like I didn’t see him.

Another time we were together and he had changed his clothes. Well he stripped down to his drawls in front of me and was walking around like everything was cool. Which btw he wasnt lying about his dick. Lmao. It actually looked semi-hard too. I noticed him look down at my crouch when I stood up I guess to see if I was hard or not. But I just ignored it.

He’ll do things like make smart comments about beating his dick or me beating mine. We’ll talk about gay niggas etc and have had some convo about if head from a dude is better than a chick although neither of us have done it.

He’ll tell me how much he missed me if we didn’t talk in a min or he’ll reference us going out as a “date”. my dilemma is I don’t know what to do with all of this. He has a girl  and I have a girl too but I often think about sucking him off and letting him bang me out. Did I mention he had a fat ass too.

I don’t want to make a move and regret it and lose a great friend but it seems like he’s dropping clues left and right that he wants to get down……what should I do???


and not for the straights)

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f0xmail: What I’ve Realized About Myself and The Career I’ve Chosen

largei got an interesting package from a reader i wanted to share.
one of the toughest decisions to make in life is your career.
from what you want to do after college.
what will make you happy and fulfilled.
you can spend many years in college and never use the degree you chased.
hell i know a few college grads who i’m making more money than.
…and that ain’t even a lot.
so when i got this f0xmail,
i wanted to share because i understand the struggle…
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