the foxhole should be proud of yourselves.
you just don’t know how much you help people with the things you share.
i got such a wonderful email from a long time lurker in the foxhole today.
this is what he had to say…
one thing about this life we all live,
we really don’t know what we want.
well i know what i want.
others aren’t so lucky.
we want to be “the freakiest hoe”,
but also hope to meet someone great when looking for a simple freak.
how can we still expect a “white knight” after building a foundation off sex?
how do you expect someone to take you seriously after he busted on your face?
one you met looking for just that?
well one of my readers sent me an email that proved just that…
I can’t believe I’m doing this but I guess I am.
So I’ve been a follower of your blog for about six months and I have to say I love it! It’s taught me a lot about the gay community and specifically the black gay community and their issues. You really seem like a friend in my head! I’m a young African American male. I’m from baytown, Texas (small town 45 minutes outside of houston) I’m eighteen years old and I’m not sure if I am gay or straight. Growing up I always knew I was different but I always had an attraction for girls.I love the arts. I love operas, musicals, ballets, etc. Even my music is different from most teenage black boys. ( I don’t like a lot of hip hop) My three top singers are Ella Fitzgerald, Phyllis Hyman, and Rachelle Ferrell. I know weird right! I’m pretty old school with my music! I also fell in love with the Harlem renaissance. You east people have so much wonderful history that I admire and adore!
My dream is to become a sports and entertainment lawyer, own my own law firm and own my own sports team( even though I’m not a sports fan) lol ( sports is an untapped market and I would love to start tapping! Lol) I really like that you’re into the whole entertainment field because that’s what I want to go into myself. I would like to attend Howard university and work in the DC and New York area and then expand to the Los Angeles area later down the line. I also want to become a billionaire one day. Also I come from two lower working middle class parents who worked hard to get me where I am today.
Anyway, when I was in the eighth grade I went on a school field trip and I had to stay in a room with two other boys. One boy had on pajama pants and I looked at his butt and got an erection. I was so embarrassed that I refuse to sleep in the same bed with him. I had NEVER had ANY sexual or intimate feelings for boys. Before that I was watching straight porn and looking at women’s breasts. After that incident, I started to experiment with gay porn to try it out. I have been addicted to porn for four years now. I use to watch both straight and gay porn but I know I only watch gay porn now. I told my dad that I had experimented with gay porn and he was ok with it. But then a few months he saw a link to gay porn on my computer and he told me that he “didn’t play that gay shit” I was upset but I got over it. He said “this is the last time we will discuss this”. My dad is not a religious person but he is a homophobe. I’ve never dated a girl or even kissed a girl before. I’m also a loner. I was also bullied in school and boys called me gay and other hurtful things. I’ve never been popular. I only have two friends and one is my grandma.
Lol I know that sounds pathetic! Lol but she truly is my best friend. I also tried to commit suicide at one point. I was confused at one point and I “came out” to her and she was totally ok with it. She gave a big hug and embraced me. But now I’m thinking that I’m bisexual. I’m still attracted to girls. So I want to know if you think I’m gay or bi sexual? As you can see I have big dreams but I get so upset and depressed when I think about my sexuality. I’m still addicted to porn (I watch more gay porn) and that brings me down too.
Please help Mr. Jamari! Thank you