A good topic for foxmail.
So Jamari, I have this homie that just got into a little situation.
I met this dude on A4A about a year ago. We flirted heavy and when we finally met he literally made my mouth drop he was so attractive. 6′ 200lbs bald head, neat beard, swole body and swole ass too. We actually sat down ate, talked about everything and saw a movie.
Long story short, after the movies, his ass was dessert and he sucked my dick took a nap on my chest and woke up and sucked my dick so more. Now usually I can deal with no strings attached sex, but something was just so different and genuine about him. I held this dude’s hand and I’m not the sentimental type at all. I got the feeling it was more for him too, being that he wanted me to stay and he kissed and hugged me before I left that night.
No contact for two weeks! I can’t lie I was completely depressed about it.
He finally hits me out of the blue and basically acts as if that whole night never happened. I don’t know why, but I just went along with it despite the fact my feelings were really hurt to the core. Eventually I just bury the feelings and try to be friends. We work out together a lot and he’s been a pretty good friend. I have also gone out of my way to be a good friend to him as well.
So fast forward to today and he’s began this relationship with this new dude and I know I should be happy for him but I’m not.
He’s talking about how he’s finally having sex again and this dude is taking him on dates and now they’re working out together.
In the past, despite what was going on in my own personal life, I could always be happy and supportive for friends.
I really don’t like the person that’s feeling like this. I don’t know if I’m still pissed he completely ignored our first experience together, or jealous that he’s found someone, or sad that I’ve always been alone, or worried I’ll always be alone, or just a combination of everything.
I just hate thinking “I hope it won’t last.” or “He’s greek. He’s probably fucking a multitude of dudes and you’re the flavor of the moment. Don’t get too excited.”
I just feel like I always fall into this role of being the odd man out. The “friend”. I usually resort to unhealthy and risky behaviors to deal.
I know I sound salty as fuck, but it’s making me re-evaluate some shit man.
All these nigga’s phone numbers I have in my phone, freaks, homies, friends and no one to check on me since I’ve been secluding to my room with this flu all week. NO ONE!
Then to add insult to injury this dude is introducing his new bitch to his other friends. I been cool with this dude for over a year and I’ve met no one but you known this dude one month and you’re introducing him to your friends at happy hour.
Am I just fighting my true nature by forcing these sorry excuses for friendships?
Am I completely fucked up bruh?