f0xmail: I Push Dudes Away, but I Still Want Love. Help!

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FOXMAIL

Hey, Jamari

Just want to start off by saying love you’re website, which i found randomly browsing. But to get back on topic Im 28 year old, attractive,  single black gay male. i find so much that you’re going through, the same shit im going through (exactly) except work wolf. my last serious relationship was 2008, after that its just been random sexual escapades and short lived relationships due to my disconnection to them. i have like a low tolerance for  bull shit i cut people and guys i talk to off like nothing if they aint making sense. when i dated i always push the guy away or just be so cold hearted but it just made them attached even more. every week it was white guy, gym rat, thug, dominican, fem, straight, bi, other ethnicity guy, threesomes etc .  like pulling guys was nothing, but now i feel so  lonely, sad, depressed,  like when i look in the mirror. its a sadness in my eyes…that i just cant shake. i went from like this GQ /eclectic / stylish guy to this often portrayed dark goth guy.  So now things have change, not that everyone needs to know my sexual preference nor am i ashamed but people response when i say a guy is cute or he can get it, just be complete shock like omg youre gay? i thought you just like white women 0_0 so on top of everything everybody think im straight black guy that like white women. and the guys seem a.) intimidated. b) think im already taken c) stuck up. d) straight so its just like what the hell. i guess the whole point of this letter is to get an opinion  cause i never talk about my problems, relationships because im the strong friend, in a good place, but at the end of the night im lonely, incomplete, want love, just someone to give me heart too, and build something great. even though i can be cold i know i can care, and be a good boyfriend but my mood sometime effect how i interact with a guy. like not to long ago, minutes i just had a hookup a guy came over to give me some neck and i returned the favor. now its over i feel incomplete,  like why did i do that? its almost a feeling of disgust like every time i hook up. i even threw up few times after. i know crazy i may just be losing my mind jamari just wanna hear what you have to say.

MY ANSWER…

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f0xmail: I Tore His Bunz Up, I’m Over It, But He Wants More! Help!

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FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari,

Recently my biggest fantasy turned into my worst nightmare. For the last few months I have been crushing on this trainer at my gym. He is fine as hell! So fine that he should be plastered all over tumblr. I’m 6 ft so he is about 6ft 3, a redbone with few tattoos, big chest, big arms, and football player’s booty. Just like we like him. Anyway we speak every now and then, mostly about fitness. He gives me some tips since I’m too cheap to hire a trainer. I never had any awkward interactions with him like you do with Work wolf but my spider senses insisted he plays for the team.

Finally after following each other on IG I discover he has a Girlfriend! A white one at that. Boo! So I tossed my feelings aside and just called it an L. Well I was in the gym one day…on Jackd…don’t judge me. And I saw a chest pic that looked mighty familiar and close. It was him! Long story short after confirming he was bi curious we made plans to kick at his crib. I know don’t judge me. He is fine! So I did not give a fuck about fucking that lady’s boyfriend. Well the joke was on me. Jamari he went from str8/bi-curious to a power bottom real quick! Jamari I’m a bottom but I occasionally I top. When we met up I didn’t expect booty to be on the menu but he had an ASS out of this world. So I fucked the shit out of him.

The problem is now that I fucked him, he keeps blowing me up for some more dick. He says he used to messing with white guys but he loves chocolate because of me. I’m not gone lie I’m tempted because the booty was good but he has turned me alll the way off. Sending me ass pictures and videos of him smacking his ass in the middle of the day. I blocked him on my iphone but he just started hitting me up on Jackd. Honestly he’s a nice guy but I’m not interested anymore.

How do I tell this to him in a nice way?

MY ANSWER…

(…oh and the following will be:

nsfw
18^
kinda not for “the straights”)
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f0xmail: The Escort Wants To Be More Than… Um, Help!

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FOXMAIL

Hey jamari!

Ive been a reader of your blog for about a year now and im addicted. Even though i dont comment much i visit this site on an everyday basis, its like a drug and i need my fixins! I just need anyone’s advice on this problem and i feel like you can help me. I’m a 20 year old bisexual black man who never had any type of experience with other men so I decided to buy one, with no strings attached, or so I thought. He told me he was a 26 year old top that was staying with his brother and his family, so we had to meet in a van during our first encounter. He was tall dark and had a rough look to him like he’s done some prison time( which he has, 5 years). He seemed more nervous than I was, which strikes me odd since it was supposed to be something he was used to. All I did was give him head, nothing else.

I’ve never bottomed and probably won’t in the near future. Afterwards he told me to set up future appointments with him and that hopefully I’d be one of his regulars. Fast forward a week later and he texts me about a deal he would give me if we could meet up again. I agreed to it but this visit threw me COMPLETELY off. During the entire time he told me his entire life story. His past, present AND future! I damn near forgot why I was with him because he was talking so much. Again, I gave him head and was on my way.after that visit he began texting me on a regular basis, while I’m at work and at home. His prices for me even dropped to the point where i feel like hes just taking the money so he wont feel like he wants me for the sex, just for the money. On my most recent visit with him he told me I’m his youngest and best looking client. That same night he introduced me to his baby daughter and sung to me… This is when I begun thinking this meant more to him than I thought.

He’s begun asking me if he can pick me up from work, which I’m not that comfortable with. He even pulled a “test” on me, pretended to get locked up to get me to send bail money to his brother. I didnt fall for it, mainly because I’m not dumb as hell nor desperate. I was asking him questions about everything so he cut it off by saying he scraped up enough cash to get out. After that he told me that was a test and that I passed for trying to help him out. I was ready to catch him and beat his ass after that one because I felt betrayed but I’m not a kid anymore so I let it go… I dint lose anything from it. I recently found out he’s married with kids and he has a different name thank god for Facebook! I kid you not, he just texted and told me my next visits are freebies and that he wants me to bottom for him eventually. I’ve been through so much in my life at this point, from bad to worse.

What the hell should I do about this situation?

MY ANSWER

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f0xmail: I’m In Love With The Married Wolf! Help!

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FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari,
fox here and loyal reader. I just wanted to start off by saying that I love this site and I check it about 3-4 times a day waiting for you to post new articles and read comments. Lol!
 
Anyway, back to the reason why I am messaging you. So I am going through sort of a dilemma and I wanted your opinion.
I am 21 years old, and I am currently on my way to graduate from college in May 2016 with only 16 more credits to go. I am so proud of myself and my family is as well. I will be the first to graduate from college in my family and a lot of pressure is on me to succeed but I am up for the challenge. I got my own apartment, a car, and a little retail job (enough to pay the bills and then some).
The problem comes in with this married man (I know, smh) that I have been “messing” around with for the past few months. He is a 6’4, 33 year old construction worker with the smoothest ebony skin. Both of his arms are covered in tatts like art and he has one on the right side of his chest with his daugther’s name. His body is heaven sent, reminiscent of early Tyrese days (Baby Boy) and he is carrying about 8.5.
We met at this bar downtown near the campus. We kept taking sneaky glances at each other but when we locked eyes it was an instant attraction. We both hesitated for a minute before he came over by the bar and ordered me and my friend a drink. He asked me how old I was, was I in school, my major & future goals etc., just real intelligent conversation. He then asked me for my number wanting to stay in “touch” because he said I sounded like a brother with a bright future. So I have it to him. He left after our convo and wished me luck. I’m not gonna lie, this man had me wanting more.
So I left the bar around two, a little tipsy and for some reason I got bold and decided to text him “sup, wyd.” When I finally got back to my apartment 30 minutes later I checked my phone and still no reply so I started thinking, why did I because it was coming off as desperate. I mean I just met the man and already blowing up his phone. Then about 10 minutes after that he texted me and said, “nothing baby boy, was dosing off but what’s up.”
To make a long story short, I ended up going over his house for the night, and it went down all morning. From the moment I walked into the door he took me to his bedroom and took control. Jamari, this man fucked the shit out of me (not literally, lol), I couldn’t even keep up and had to keep telling him to slow down but it was so good.
So that same morning when I finally left his house, I started looking around being nosey and I asked him who these people are. He straight up admitted that that was his wife and daughter. He has pictures of his family all over the living room. Jamari, his daughter is so beautiful my goodness and his wife is gorgeous as well.
I felt like a homewrecker fr. Smh
JAMARI, this man fucks me til I pass out. The way he holds me, kisses me, sucks on my neck, and tells me that it’s his ass, drives me crazy. He has my eyes rolling in the back of my head and a couple of times made me cum without touching myself. Jamari, when this man touches me my body shakes. He fucks me like he loves me and even holds me in his arms until the sunrises before he takes a shower and puts his timbs back on for work.

We fucked every day for the past two weeks and the sex keeps getting more intense to the point to where I can’t last the whole 2 plus hours anymore without a break in between. I’m in love with this man Jamari and he talks about us in the future. Saying that he gonna always keep me around and that I got better stuff than his wife. So far, we have hung out, he took me to go see CREED and we went to eat after that and he has paid for everything. He even paid my phone bill and put $250 down on my rent this past month without me asking him too.

 

The last time we had sex was on Saturday, and that’s only because I have finals this week and need to focus but it’s really hard to focus when all I can think about is the next time I’m going to see and spend time with him. He text me through the day saying he misses me and can’t wait to spend time with me all day. I’m really starting to like him but he is married and goes against everything I stand for but I can’t stop.
 
Sorry for disappointing you guy’s. :(

MY ADVICE…

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