i never give myself credit.
i have this nasty habit of blaming myself when things go wrong.
i keep doing it with my past job now and with relationships gone wrong.
even though they played a major role in the demise,
i have wondered what i did wrong?
i gotta end that this year.
so mi hit me up the other day…
i was feeling pretty down today.
i’m my most creative when i’m depressed.
i was also tired.
sleep did not happen last night.
the deadline was today and i still had heard nothing from unemployment.
well as i watched the latest episode of “hbo girls” earlier,
i finally got the call.
it was like…
we have come farther than we have years ago.
we can get married now.
the dreams of the white picket fence and the dog are realities.
adopting cubs is even in the forecast as well.
we have central roles in tv and movies that are winning awards.
what a time to be alive!
well the thing is,
as we get farther with laws,
we are also still stuck in the same place we were years ago.
we come out the closet only to feel the same isolation we did when we were in it.
don’t get me wrong,
you are the bees knees when you make your “announcement”.
everyone is on your jock for that minute.
you might even get some tail/pipe off your name.
once that fades,
and the novelty wears off,
it’s back to being in the closet again.
but the closet door is open now.
that has been the cause of more suicides within the community.
“gay loneliness” is what it’s being called.
the pretty vixen sent me an interesting article that made me say…
you have gotten my full attention.
so it just seems the devil won’t go down without a fight.
too bad for it,
i’m still swinging.
my debit card was compromised last night…
i like talking to folks.
i’ll talk to anyone that lets me.
i don’t care what the situation is,
jamari can get down with a good convo.
i had an interesting conversation with the apple associate earlier…