Sup Jamari,

Just got put on to your blog within the last week or so, and I got to say, you are my new favorite blogger.  So I saw on your blog we can look to you for advice, so here it goes:

First, a lil about me:

26 y/o, 6’2″ 180 lbs (I keep it tight, up in the gym 4-5x a week), light-skinned, curly hair, cute face, college educated, job/car/apt, a lil cash saved up, basically I think I got my shit together.  And I’m new to the lifestyle, if you don’t count the dude i 69ed with in college 7 years ago.  I’m not really looking for a relationship right now, so if I could have a few nights with a sexy, masc dude, that would make me happy.

OK, so I go inside the gas station to pre-pay and to get a few MegaMillions tickets.  As I’m waiting in line, I notice the cute, masculine dude behind the counter.  So when it’s my turn to pay, dude says to me “I bet a light-skinned dude like you get all the bitches don’t you?”  I was a little shocked, and didn’t know what to say in response, so I just laughed it off and handed dude my cash and left.

Questions:
1.  I’m not good at deciphering the DL/discreet signs, but I’m pretty sure dude was tryin to holla at me, no?
2.  So I can be prepared for if/when I see him again, how should I have handled the situation?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts,
Mr. Painfully clueless and shy……….and trying to change

Dear Painfully Clueless and Shy,

Well before I start, you sound incredibly attractive. Can I get some (ahem) pictures so I can put my curiousity to bed. (Juss kiddin…. Kinda.) …

Said situation did not sound like a pickup. Sounded like something a guy would tell another guy from observation. Hell, I probably would have said the same thing to you. If he was trying to pick you up, he would said something alot more bolder that would have made you say to yourself, “What did he just say?“.

Also, what did the energy feel like? How was he looking at you? Eyes tell alot when it comes to DL/Discreet men.

IMO, you handled it well.  No use in busting out the lip licking and the bedroom eyes just yet, feel me? If you feel certain he was trying to pick you up, continue to go back and make small talk every time you are at his register. He may reveal himself once he is comfortable and then let it happen naturally from there.

.F0x