All is Well In The Work Wolf Forest (For Him, Anyway)

tumblr_mj1y1iueL71s7ndtvo1_500things between work wolf and i are calm.
well,
right now.
no more fighting or “not speaking”.
i’ve brought my “fuck shit” all the way down.
if he does something i don’t agree with,
i just let it go.
he comes over my crib a lot more.
he also more open than before.
i’m enjoying his company.
i don’t know why i feel so insecure about him tho.
even as my role of “friend”,
or “its complicated”,
i still feel uneasy within myself.
it’s funny…

one of my commenters said another blogger does foxmail as well.
as a joke,
they said they do it better than me.
apparently they are my competition.
tumblr_mdjnqpKl1Q1qaf90uo8_r2_250so i went over to the site.
it looked really nice.

felt nada

i love seeing others doing their own thing.
when work wolf told me he might get into a “ship” with this vixen

i felt like i wanted to cry

pathetic,
i know.
he showed me her picture and she is pretty.
it was one of the vixens from his past.
she hit him up and they have been talking again.
she also miscarried his cub too.
tumblr_mv15tx6Gv41qdye1ho2_r1_250they have a “connection” of sorts.
when he told me about her,
i said:

“well you know how you get.
these vixens don’t last with you.”

“yeah you right.
i don’t know why i get so bored with them after a while.
do you know why?”

he looked at me.
i wanted to say the first thing that popped in my mind,
but i said:

“yeah i don’t know.
that’s something you have to figure out.”

other than that,
i enjoy what we have.
clearly we are in some emotional relationship.
every time he looks at me,
he is always adjusting himself.
when we were having a conversation about “eating groceries”,
and then it got into how foxes clean themselves for sex,
he kept adjusting himself that he had to put his hands in his pants.
yeah.
not making that up.
i think he is confused and uncomfortable.
like one minute he will be all “jamari fox”,
and then the next,
he is distant unless i pursue him.
if i give him his space,
he is has an attitude.
i don’t get it.

lowkey: he told me he is really happy he met me friday.
god obviously has a weird sense of humor.

“i’m on an emotional rollercoaster
lovin’ you ain’t nothin’ healthy
lovin’ you was never good for me
(For me)
…but i can’t get off”

51 Comments

  1. I say the friendship is what it is, he’s in your life, you both make each other emotionally happy. It’s nice to see he’s opening up more to you, as far as him being confused I think you’ve learn to just let him take the lead in that aspect when it comes to that. If he brings up topics dealing with sexuality or anything a straight wolf wouldn’t normally bring up let him steer that ship and you just be the passenger. That way if he slips up or does something it just falls in him and not you.

    I’m glad you guys still are talking but I hope this year you get a “H&M Wolf”, or a “Wolf who lives upstairs from me”, or “GameStop Wolf” . You know just so your mind can be distracted from Work wolf for abit 😁.

    • ^yeah there won’t be no “grabbing his dick” or anything from me.
      plus im not that fox to do something so outrageous.
      not my style or swagg.
      i am learning to let him do him as far as we are concerned.
      if I don’t hear from him,
      i do my own thing.

  2. That’s good to know. I have a feeling pretty soon you are going to meet a great guy who will treat your right and fuck you good. When that happens….work wolf might finally step up to the plate

  3. I’m trying to learn to let things go. My ww does this thing where he talks down about people who do the same fuckshit things his friends do. In my head I’m thinking “shut your sexy ass mouth.” Outwardly I make the same facial expression as that first gif.

    I really hope I don’t end up going off on him one day. How many times am I going to have to learn to hold my tongue before I finally stop speaking when I’m running high off emotions. Once I cool down I realize I could’ve presented my side better and whatever it was wasn’t that serious to begin with. I really don’t wanna lose this dude as a friend. His pros far outweigh his cons. Really the only con he has is being a hypocrite. But he saves himself when he acknowledges his hypocrisy. Jamari man! This dude makes me wish God made Adam and Steve. That’s how bad I have it for him.

    About your situation, work wolf sounds… I wanna say selfish but I don’t think that’s the word I’m looking for. Since you mentioned he got uncomfortable when discussing sexual things with you, that may be the reason why he wants you to do all the work in reaching out to him. He’s confused about how it makes him feel/look reaching out to a gay man to talk/hang with. Or maybe he’s like that with all of his friends regardless of their sexuality. You know how he deals with vixens. Does he pursue them or do they pursue him? If I’m remembering correctly, didn’t he say you act like a woman? Would if he’s treating you like one too.

    P.S

    I’m glad you referred to what’s-his-name as “another blogger.” No promotion for him. I don’t think I’d even know who he was if it wasn’t for you.

    • ^i like how you said:

      “The pros outweigh the the cons”

      that’s how it is with us.
      they aren’t bad.
      if we weren’t attracted to them,
      we would accept them for their cons.

      the vixens pursue him.
      he kinda goes with the flow with them.
      most of the time,
      he isn’t really interested.
      there is always some problem with them.
      i know one thing…
      he doesn’t seem to like to talk to me about them.
      if i never ask,
      he doesn’t bring them up.
      the same one texted him while i was infront of him and he couldn’t dismiss her text fast enough.

      i don’t get it so i don’t ask questions anymore.
      he reacts better when i don’t question him about things he confuses me about.

  4. Hey Jamari,
    I say just be his friend, let go of the possibility of him being more than that. Go and find someone who deserves your attention and love. Hell, you deserve it. Just stay friends and let it flow, let it go.
    Just my opinion.

  5. I think your handling it great; going with the flow and not over stepping boundaries. It’s better to be a friend than trying to force him out his comfort zone. That’ll cause him to push you away.

    One thing I would like to ask, if you and him were to take the next step, do you think it would mess up your friendship ? I personally think he’s curious but it would be a complicated situation if your his “first”

    • ^i think it would.
      I look at how bored he gets with vixens.
      that could end up being me as well.
      maybe I need to try some days we don’t talk,
      while others we do?
      maybe that will help lessen the emotional spell for me a little.

      • Don’t try to control the situation, just let it run it’s course. If you want to lessen the emotional spell you gotta keep yourself busy and keep your distance, which I don’t think is necessary right now. Your in control of your emotions and if you feel like you can’t, step away for a little. Just be a friend right now and eventually he’ll open up to you about his true feelings. I remember my ww situation, when he got a girlfriend for some reason I was so jealous and what fucked me up is how emotional I was being. I lost control of the situation once I started to be a he-bitch.

  6. Emotional relationships are the worst. It’s like God… I know I can’t be THIS damn crazy. All this up and down for what…. still ain’t gettin none. lol I hate it. Glad you decided to start writing about work wolf again. Mine wasn’t even a damn wolf. I’m even more mad about that!

    • ^you took my feelings and use it in this comment md.
      ya know,
      there is a market for these kind of situations.

      “Work Wolf”
      “School Wolf”
      “Next block Wolf”
      “My Family Member Friend Wolf”

      many of us are dealing with them.
      this goes beyond crushes tho.
      this person is actually in your life.
      you have to see them almost every day.
      It ain’t easy.

  7. Jamari you are right when you say that work wolf may be confused and uncomfortable. I’m sorry to say that it may take him years from now to even admit to having any sort of attraction to you or any other male. By that time he will probably be unhapply married with cubs and on adam4adam looking for discreet hookups with young blk and latino college twinks in seedy hotels using fake names to keep his DL desires on the low low.

    The two of you are on different levels in this “lifestyle”. You’re like a freshman in college and he is just starting pre-school. It’s like you’ve been waiting for him to grow up and become the man with all the potentials that you see he could have one day. I think you have a great emotional relationship with him and it probably will last a long time. I can almost predict that as time passes you will be the cause of alot of jealousy with the women in his life because they will not understand why he would confide his emotions with you rather than with them.

    I understand your predicament, you want him to finally realize what he is, but you don’t want him to preceive you as the one who seduced him to the other side. But if he just so happens to realize his attractions for you while your being one of the greatest friends he’s ever had in his life, then no odor of manipulation is in the air and he can’t ever say you tricked him into anything intimate.

    All I can adivse is to guard your heart, be open to something different, and keep talking about it if it makes you feel better. I feel most everyone here cares about your wellbeing and wish you the best outcome.

  8. I know how you feel about the vixen part because my friend (who I somewhat have a crush on) talks about his boyfriend all the DAMN time which I am trying to be cool with, but it secretly burning inside. But I am slowly learning to let go of my feelings for him, but the thing is he likes to flirt with me by calling me boo, sexy and telling how attractive I am.

    Except for some strange reason we been talking about sex a LOT lately. It’s so weird because we never talked about sex until now, but he’s the one who always initial the sex conversation. No, we don’t talk about having sex with each other, he talks about the guys who he slept with and telling me how he likes a tight hole to grip on his dick and prefer thick boys etc. A part of me thinks he want to have sex with me, but I think I’m just jumping the conclusion a little bit

  9. I think it’s great you’re posting about WW again. You always say the foxhole is one of your only outlets, don’t feel like you have to censor anything.

    You get creds for your willpower. WW would have some pineapples going crazy right now. Sounds like everything is back in rhythm though.

    You mention this other blog, and I’m just sitting here thinking “If I don’t even know about it, it’s nothing to even entertain.” ✌

    • ^yeah i try not to look at sex so much with him.
      i honestly just see him as someone I…
      love.
      oh dear god.
      i said the “l” word.
      i think that’s why im past sexual.

      • You love him!
        Now I think I get it.
        You’re giving more emotionally than he’s giving back.
        And you want more.
        Is that it?
        I doubt he’ll ever get bored with you.
        You two have a unique relationship.
        In fact it’s that uniqueness that is the source of the problem.
        It’s like a double edged sword.

  10. I think he doesn’t understand why he can’t find a woman who’s personality is just like yours…..its like his potential soulmate came in the form of Gay male coworker. Trust his feelings for you run deeper than you know.

    • ^that is deep.
      hell i literally molded him into the wolf he wants to be.
      his whole wolf swagg changed because of my ideas.
      he has been getting compliments and good reviews from people in his personal circle.

      • Absolutely and he recognize that a great deal. You made him better than when you found him. Your significant other supposed to be your rock….they complete you and if possible make you a better person. You grow together them, you and Work Wolf have been just that…without the dynamics of a romantic relationship. None of the vixens have been able to do this for him.

        Jamari that boy loves you probably as much as you love him. Its just the roots which were planted in him makes it hard to give in to it.

        He’s a functioning heterosexual thats being Mind fuck by a Gay man and now he’s questioning the whole aspects of what it means to be straight. You tapped into his bicurious side which I believe exist in alot of Straight males.

  11. Jamari, You need to light a candle every time he leaves, so the candle symbolize that he is still there. Work some magic… lol…

  12. In all honesty, I am glad you found a way to meet him in the middle and get some comfort. A lot of people don’t realize how strong emotions can be at the wrong time. You currently at that point in your life where you are looking for that one and here he comes. he offers so much you life but their one thing that halts him from being what you truly need in the moment. He is straight. I understand everything you are going through. I went through all of this in high school with a guy I consider my best friend (now). Wish you the best with your work wolf adventures for the next 11 months.

  13. Honestly, I’m kinda over this whole work wolf thing. I feel like u got the n over your head. One: he’s your coworker. Two: he’s straight. I don’t understand why gay men allow ourselves to get emotionally involved with men who have told us they are straight. We lend our feelings to them hoping we see some piece of them that can bring them over to our side. The problem is we break our own hearts and get strung along in doing this while they sit unaffected because we knew their sexuality to begin with.. Jamari I was hoping you would end this because as long as your feelings are invested, this will NOT end well. I honestly feel like you would not be this involved if he wasn’t so attractive. If he was just ok looking he would not have a place in your feelings or life.

  14. You write this over and over and over. It’s sad. I’m not a psychologist but I’m 51 and lived life. Your self esteem seems low. Don’t you think you deserve better? Or do you like drama and angst. Are you inwardly ashamed of being gay and think a “straight” man will validate you? Jamari life is short and goes quickly. So enjoy it. Damn stop being passive and be the sexual aggressor. I would have tried to seduce his punk ass ages ago and if it didn’t work jettison him. Because this guy is not your friend like you claim. I don’t get all Vivienne Green emotional roller coaster over my straight friends. He is an emotional parasite draining energy you could be putting into someone else. He is blocking you from fulfillment. Buy hey I’ve written this comment over and over and you ain’t hearing it. This situation just sounds so miserable to me. So be it.

    P.S. You need to go online and just get some straight up good dick. Or hit a bathhouse and go play safely. Enjoy your youth and sexuality. You need something to occupy you rather than mess with this pineapple flavored vampire.

    • ^no offense Immanuel,
      but you come off very judgmental for a wolf,
      that around my age,
      was married to a vixen and having DL sex with men.
      putting her at risk with hiv with all that free sex you were having.
      sounds like you had a case of “low self esteem” with a hint of wreck less behavior.
      if that isn’t the story,
      please excuse my ignorance and thank you for the comment.

      • Is Work Wolf really straight? Is his behavior with Jamari typical of a straight man? From buying expensive gifts,letting Jamari “grease his hair”, having to adjust his package when discussing certain topics.I’m just asking? I have known quite a few bisexual and gay guys in my life.Most of them claimed they were straight UNTIL they came out to me as gay.Several claimed they were straight while they were dating me and other women.If Work Wolf was acting like a straight guy in terms of how he interacted with Jamari then I would say,”Let in go”.But since I have personally witnessed many guys including several of my cousins who have claimed or continue to claim they are straight while having sex with men.

        BTW I am not one of these women who believe all or most Black men are gay,bisexual or DL.I know the vast majority of Black men are heterosexual but I would give a side eye if the “straight ” man I was dating was letting his gay co worker “grease”anything of his, including his scalp.

      • Jamari!!! In Immanuel’s offense, what I got from his blog was he always played it safe when he was married and crept around.

        And Immanuel, a lot of people can relate what Jamari is going through and the newbies to this t.
        hing we call “life”, this can help them maneuver, especially the ups and down you go though when you are feeling like this. If you have never been in this position before and not promiscuous its not something you can get over easily, although you do find yourself getting to that point just to get over your feelings.

        Also J, You do not have to snap back so lethal when someone is giving you their point of view, granted the delivery.

      • You know you really come across as a
        Punk ass bitch at times but you are young and I will excuse this comment. Yes I was married and started exploring DL sex but guess what? I was a man, ended that marriage, repaired my relationship with my kids and live a fulfilling relationship with a partner of three years. I have a great career, a rowhouse, and travel as you can see from my blog. I support my kids financially and emotionally. And love playing with my partners and others. Because we are grown and realistic about life and sex. Oh and I’m HIV negative and plan to stay that way because I play safe and have a great doctor. Van and I don’t live in some fantasy like you. How long have your relationships been? Oh surprise! You haven’t had one we except for this bullshit mouse and cat game with WW. And what if you get him? He plays women now. He will play men when he gets to the other side if he ever does go gay. He will be eager to explore gay sex just like I was so you will have even moreTyler Perry soaps to write. Matter of fact o bet he may already be tapping man ass…not just with you. You are just his Good Judy. Besides WW has poor character. You see it …damn he tells you…but you ignore it because you delude yourself. By the way did you return the iPhone he gave you? If you kept it it shows what a materialistic, shallow little bitch you really are.

      • ^the funny part about all of this is i never came over to your website to throw shots.
        you always have.
        i always was respectful to you and your choices.
        i may not have agreed with things you do/did,
        but i didn’t give a fuck because that’s YOUR life.
        you came over here this morning and ultimately disrespected me.
        in turn,
        i let you know how i felt.
        you decided to let loose and show me who you are this evening.
        they always say people’s real opinions come out when they are mad.
        the crazy part is: i don’t particularly care what you think of me.
        you can think what the fuck you want LOL.
        i know who i am.
        i could sit here and throw stones at you.
        i could become ratchet or puff my chest up.
        hell i could try to hurt your feelings.
        …for what?
        over a dude?
        a pineapple that’s MY problem?
        you ain’t fuckin him.
        seriously?
        naaaaaaaaah homie.
        its never that serious to be in your feelings.
        i’m glad you were able to get that off your chest tho.

        thanks?

        take that shit somewhere else.
        hit me up when you get your mind together LOL

    • j you know i love you you’re a good guy but this emmanuel guy is right and i do think you let your life goes by years after years because of this work wolf thing please life is too short for hasing a guy who doesn’t reallly care for a Relationship with you New York is big city full of Young hot guys date enjoy your life because one day you ll wake up alone and work wolf will have been moving on having kids. It hard to say but please MOVE ON

      • “Years after years” He hasn’t even known Work Wolf one year based on the info posted .I do agree Jamari needs to date .I also agree he needs some gay friends.But let’s not pretend WW is the reason he doesn’t date.

  15. i would never write about this.people are too mean lol I commend Jamari for even having the balls to not write the usual story and go against the grain.He isn’t talking about the men he met for one night or how he got aids by being a thot.He is talking about being in love with someone who doesn’t love him back.Takes guts and thick skin to face criticism but this is why I like this blog.He isn’t trying to fit the mold of what the stereotypical gay man is.im hooked.

  16. What is wrong with being young, dumb and all in your feelings? What? You can’t help how you feel. It looks like it is the more mature, “experienced” cats getting on the “Jamari get your dumb ass over WW” bandwagon.

    He is just letting us know what he is going through, what many of us been through and what a lot more will be going through. He is just writing about his truth, what is so wrong with that.

    Isn’t the same if he was talking about how many sex parties he went too or how many dudes he had come through his spot in the matter of several hours from the various hook up sites. There are many blogs that cater to that and I don’t see anyone knocking the blogger talking about his numerous encounters; basically it is the same. Its that blogger and his “feelings” that is causing him to be that way and he is sharing.

    I understand a lot of you have been in the same situation with a WW type, Why not give Jamari some constructive criticism and Share your wisdom but don’t knock him on his feelings; Again you can’t help how you feel. You can do something about it and I think by him writing about it here is his way of doing something about it.

    I had a WW experience in 2006 at my first job right after I got out of college. The cat and mouse game went on for 13 months; We eventually hooked up and it was discrete for the next 2 yrs till he moved away, eventually he got engaged, married and now has cubs…. but……. You live and you learn!!!!!!!!

  17. Now I am going back to lurk status.. Until I see another entry that causes me to speak up… like Candles, Black Magic or Voodoo…

    Lmao.. just kidding…

Play nice, stay on topic, and for the love of God: NO SPAM IN THE FOXHOLE!